Justin Potter and the Mirror of Erized by @whitewillsmith (ALL I WANT TO DO IS TAG AHH WHYYY)
The overall plot of this story was great. I like your characters and the elaborate backstory you gave Darvy.
The paragraph spacing is something I think should be looked at again. Your chapters are just very long blobs of words with no breaks, and it is very confusing to read. When a new speaker is talking, you should make a new paragraph. It makes the story a lot easier to understand.
Also, the part when Justin go kidnaped had me a little confused. Why did he just suddenly agree with this guy? He called him a father figure, but he was the captor?? Wouldn't you fight back? Wouldn't you fight back for the girl you love or your family or your will to be a good person?
Aside from that, your story was very interesting to read. I liked your characters and the back stories. It's a great story, and I will be reading the sequels!! ❤️
YOU ARE READING
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