HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Theory of Bravery {Bill Weasley}

Theory of Bravery by @syrahsyarah (I think I got that right lol)

I love this fanfic!! It's super cool!! I swear I commented on this story like twenty million times!!

Mina is my spirit animal. She's a sassy, fiery Gryffindor and I love her.

Because there aren't many known characters from Billy's time at Hogwarts, you fell into the common trap of getting character happy. It happens commonly in next gen and marauders era fics, and it can also happen with Charlie, Bill, and Percy Weasley fics too.

There were a whole crap ton of extra characters you created and it's extremely hard to remember them all. I'd say, if you're going to create a new character, make sure they're important. Readers don't like a lot of extra characters who only show up for one chapter and never get mentioned again. Try to only make a handful of new characters, and readers won't be as confused by them all. 👍

Her brother is cool, but I don't think I've gotten enough of him to really connect with him and understand him. I'd like to see more of her brother.

I love the way you started it off with, "YOURE EXPELLED!" It grabbed my attention and I literally had to keep reading. However, I don't think you ever specified exactly what they did, and I think that would be a nice thing to add.

And Bill sort of comes out of nowhere. It's like, "oh, by the way, this is Bill she talks to him a lot." We've never seen him before, and she's already his best friend?

But omg can we just talk about how funny your story is? Every other sentence I was laughing my butt off. You are a comedian in the making. I love your comedy!

Mina is frickin hilarious!!

I can't wait to see what trouble Mina gets into next!

Jtsquared4