HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Sonar Silence {Marauders Era}

Sonar Silence by @kasar91

I'm gonna be brutally honest here; I wasn't so into your story at first. It was really slow at the beginning. There was no crazy cliffhanger that made me go "Yes! Must read on!"

But around chapter three, I was like, "YESSSS MUSTTTT READDDD ONNNNN!!!!" Rose is just one big mystery and I just want to solve it! I want to know what happens! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!

Sure, the first chapters are a bit slow, but that doesn't matter because NOW I WANT TO READ IT FOREVER. If I could vote more than once, I would.

I'd also like to note that your chapters are very long. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. Some readers prefer long chapters and others whine and complain. Honestly, you can't win 'em all. I personally like your chapter length.

Now, I think this needs addressed. You flat out told us about Rose and Laurie. You literally said Rose was popular and pretty and whatnot. I know character descriptions can be very hard, but it's better to say things like, "she had an ocean of friends and admirers" instead of "she was very popular and hot dudes were crushin' on her."

(Thank Merlin you didn't write anything like that last example. "Hot dudes"? I should really take my own corrections... your grammar was great!)

I really like the extensive vocabulary you use in your writing. I remember distinctly you used the word "somber" instead of something like... um... darkly? I don't know I just really like the word somber okay!?

Anyway, I'm definitely going to keep reading!

Jtsquared4

(Oh, and I'm gonna start putting up pictures of the covers now btw!)