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Paradox {Oliver Wood}

Paradox by @MilaRaph

First, I just want to say that your cover is really cool.

Okay, now on to my crappy excuse for being helpful.

What the devil is going on with Brooke's family? I understand that her father is a wizard and her mother is a muggle, but... WHAT IS GOING ON?? All of the sudden, Albus Dumbledore is just randomly sitting in their living room, and it's not shocking to anyone. In fact, her mom's a muggle, but she isn't too shocked by much of anything.

I saw the shock when she found out about her husband being a wizard. She was shocked there, but don't you think she'd be a bit alarmed that a man in a robe broke into her house?

And what about Will? I feel like after chapter one, lil Will is just kinda... there. He isn't doing much aside from a few oooohhhs and aaahhhs. I think you should build on to him. He's curious, so he should do little kid things like touch the witches' hats and try to pet the owls and stuff. You know, just the usual kid stuff that just annoys everyone.

And the dad's character is a little off. Honestly, if I was married to that man, and he started saying things like, "I'm going to work in the wizarding world again," "I've been using magic around you ever since we got married," and "magic magic magic yay!" I'd probably get a divorce. The man basically said, "I'm going to ditch you and get a job in the magic world. I know I'm not going to be able to pay our electric bills with strange wizard currency, but I want to buy my own textbooks, and that's all that matters." He must've been a Gryffindor because he doesn't think anything through. At all.

He just kinda threw his wife into this strange new world, and she just accepted it. She's shaken up for a second, but then it's all good. That not how this works. She should be more frightened, more shaken up. She should probably stop trusting (or trust less) her husband and be uncomfortable in the wizard world. If she is going to tag along, make sure to let us readers know she's not just accepting this world.

Your chapter length is good, just watch with your paragraph spacing. I suggest formatting your writing how I formatted this review. Leave a space in between paragraphs; it's easier to separate information and for the brain to process.

I like the premises for this story and I know it's going to be great! I can't wait I see what you have in store!!

-Jtsquared4