HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Lost and Found {Harry Potter}

Lost and Found by @diamondquartz

The backstory you gave Rose Potter is actually really good. I LOVE IT 😍 ITS TOTAL DIFFERENT AND NOT AS CLICHE AS MOST OF THESE TYPES OF ARE THANK YOU FOR BEING ORIGINAL!!

However, while the whole anti-aging potion was very clever, but... why? Why was it necessary to do that to her? Couldn't she still age during Voldy's rise to power? I think you could explain why it was necessary, or just take it out entirely, because I don't see a point to it, really.

Okay, so along with the aging thingy, when she woke up, I was a little confused because it seemed really random. It was like, "oh, hello. I just randomly decided to age today." Maybe you could explain that whole thing better. Was it because when James and Lily died, their spell broke? Idk tho, it's your story.

Now, the tense of your story is weird. You started in present tense, but it was changed to past tense and is back in present tense but is before past tense and was confusing to read much like this sentence is was. Please stick to one. I think you're more comfortable in present tense, so you should stick with that :) 👍

Now let's discuss apostrophes and plurals. When you wrote uncles, I assumed that there were two uncles. If you meant to say that she was at one uncle's house, use an apostrophe please and thank you 😊

Also there is a difference between Aunt and aunt. Use a lowercase a when the word my is being used. Use a capital A when there is no possessive pronoun (my, your, ours, etc...) being used. This apples to Aunt, Uncle, Mom, Dad, and Grandpa as well. 😊

(It's Fleur Delacour ps. So you've got the correct spelling now 😊)

I really liked how descriptive you were with the house and her appearance. It really paints a great picture for the readers!

Keep up the great writing! :)

Jtsquared4