What He Doesn't Know • book one (complete) (AU)

touchy&arguments

Roman's POV

'Fuck stopping this shit.' I thought to myself as my lips slowly graced across her collarbone, my hands wrapped tightly around her waist.

We had been like this for the past hour and a half. Everyone was gone for the day and I made up a excuse to Jimmy to get Naomi alone for a few hours.

We hadn't so much as had sex, hell I didn't need it because I was getting high off of just having her lips on mine, my hands on her skin and hers in my hair.

Yes it was wrong. Yes we could both hurt Jimmy. Yes we could so much as ruin the good name of this company.

But fuck it all, I don't care.

God, it took all the power in my body to not just grab her during the day, and the second she's out of my sight, all I do is think about her.

I wasn't falling in love with her... No. I don't love. And I make that clear... I just... I simply like her in a way that I want to be around her all day... And night... And midday... And when I go to sleep... And when I wake up... Fuck it, it's not love.

"If you bite me then I'll have to explain that to my fiancé." She said to me, amusement laced in her voice as I nipped at her.

"Have fun with that." I say to her and she hit my arm slightly, "What I say?"

"Don't be a dick." She said with a small laugh.

"What's that I hear?" I teased her, "You want my dick? Begging aren't we?"

"Shut up!" She said with a laugh, "I didn't even say that. I would never say that."

"I'll have you begging for me woman." I say to her as I placed another kiss on her neck.

"We're not suppose to be doing this." She reminded me.

"We're doing this anyways." I say to her.

"It's wrong." She said to me, "We keep saying we don't even like eachother."

"Because we don't. In fact, I'm pretty sure I hate you and you hate me" I say to her, "we're just ... Co workers with benefits. I do this so I don't have to give you a raise."

"I better get a raise," she said as I kissed her cheek, "Seriously Roman, Jimmy would be heartbroken."

I lifted her left hands and took her engagement ring off and toss it somewhere behind me, "Now stop thinking about him."

"Roman-" she started to say but I cut her off with another kiss.

"Will you stop mentioning him and just be mine?" I asked, then panicked and added, "For the moment. You can go to Jimmy later."

"I don't feel right about this." She mumbled.

"Then let me make you feel good for right now." He say before placing my lips on hers again.

'Not love, not love, not love, not love, not love' I chanted in my head. 'I'm just an amazing tease, that's it. I don't like her, I just like what she does to me. Amazing excuse Roman, good job... Wait no, I don't like what she does to me. She makes me feel like... FUCK. Fuck feelings, this is why I just do what I want, when I want."

We break the kiss at the sound of her cell phone ringing and I groaned as she reached across the table to pick it up.

"Stop being whiny." She said to me as she hushed me, then answered, "Hello? Hey babe. Yeah, we're just finishing up, I should be back in about thirty minutes. I miss you too baby. Love you. Bye."

"Jimmy?" I asked and she nodded before rising off of my lap.

"Yeah." She said, a look of guilt taking over her facial features, it always did, "It's getting late anyways. We should both be getting home."

"Of course." I say to her, feeling my anger rise at nothing in particular.

"Are you mad?" She asked me quietly.

"No." I say while placing my laptop in my bag.

"Roman then look at me." She said to me and I reluctantly look up, "You are mad."

"I. Am. Not." I say to her and stand up.

"Yes. You. Are." She said back to me, "See, this is why we gotta stop-"

"Why?" I ask her, "You like it."

"And you like it too." She said to me, "But Roman, I'm engaged-"

"Stop fucking saying that!" I shouted at her, "You being engaged, you having a ring on your finger does not change the fact that I would still want you. God, do you even think for just a seconds that I would treat you better than Jimmy would."

"Why the hell would you say that?" She shouted at me.

"Because it damn well may as be true!" I shout at her, "But your too focused on Jimmy!"

"He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!" She shouted.

"And yet you cheat on him with me!" I shouted back at her, "Stop acting like I fucking force you into this! You fucking want me, in some way you want me."

"I want someone to love me." She said while shaking her head, "Something Jimmy gives to me, while you wouldn't."

"But I give you everything else." I say to her and she shook her head.

"No..." She mumbled while walking off, "No you don't."

"When was the last time you and Jimmy had sex?" I asked her as she walked to the elevator.

"Fuck you." She said as she pressed the down button, "That's not your business."

"It's been a while and I can tell because the way he acts." I say to her, "You're afraid to because you don't want to risk thinking about me when you do."

She shook her head as she waited but stayed quite.

"When was the last time he took off of work to just spend a damn day with you?" I asked her, "When was the last time he took you out? When was the last time he-"

"Stop acting like you fucking love me." She interrupted me just as the elevator opened, "Because you don't."

"You're damn right I don't." I say to her, "But let's face reality darling, maybe Jimmy doesn't love you as much as you think."

She entered the elevator and turned around. I could see the tears brimming her eyes from here and it immediately stopped me from saying anything else.

"Naomi..." I started to say but stopped when the door closed.

It wasn't love.

You can't just love somebody, especially as fast as it happened between me and her.

But what else would make me act like this.

I wasn't sure, but Dear God, let it stop.