How It's Supposed to Be

Chapter One

I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring at 6:30. I rolled over and turned it off. I laid in bed for a minute. Thinking about the upcoming events for today. Today is the day that I sign the final divorce papers. How did we get to here? How did we get to this point? We were so happy and in love. When did we stop being happy? When did we stop loving each other?  Honestly, I can't even remember the last time that Mark even made me smile. I can't even remember the last time I was happy when I was with Mark.

I can still remember the day perfectly when we got into our last fight before he left. It was the world's stupidest fight too. We were fighting over who cleaned the living room last. I wasn't even upset when he left. Is that sad? The man that I loved walked out and never came back and I wasn't even upset about it. I was glad. I was actually hoping he wouldn't come back. That moment was when I realized that there was no love left in this marriage. Neither of us were happy. We were both looking for a way out. It became a mutual decision to file for divorce. Why hold on to something that can't be fixed.

I decided to get up and hop in the shower. Once the water was warm enough I got in and washed up. When I was done, I got out and wrapped the towel around myself and walked over to my closet. I picked out a pair of black dress pants and a nice shirt to go with. I grabbed my black heels and walked downstairs into the kitchen and made some coffee. I wasn't very hungry so I grabbed a granola bar. When the coffee was done I poured myself a cup and ate my granola bar. It was 7:30 and I decided to slip my shoes on and head down to the courthouse. Our meeting with the judge is at 8:00 and I don't want to hit the morning traffic.

I grabbed my purse and keys and got in my car. I drove down to the courthouse. Surprisingly the traffic wasn't that bad. I finally found a parking space and pulled in. I got out of the car and locked it. I started towards the courthouse. I walked up the steps and stood in front of the doors. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I let it out and reached for the door and opened it. I walked to the room where everything was going to happen. I turn the corner and I see Mark sitting on the bench with his lawyer. As soon as I turned the corner we made eye contact. This is the first time I have seen him since we decided to get a divorce almost a year ago. I walked up to the bench that was across from him and sat down.

It was incredibly awkward. I was waiting for my lawyer to show up so it would hopefully be less awkward. Finally she came, just in time too. The judge came out and asked us to come in. The four of us walked into his office and sat down at the table. "Everything seems to be well divided up" The judge said. "This is one of the most civil divorces I have ever done" he added. I gave him a half smile then continued to look down at the table, avoiding eye contact with Mark. I just wanted to sign the papers and get out of here.

The judge finally stopped talking and said it was time to sign the papers. "Anything either of you want to add?" The judge asked. "No your Honor" I said. Mark just shook his head no. "Alright, lets sign" The judge said. I signed the papers first, then Mark did. Then we shook the judge's hand and left his office.

Mark and I walked out of the courthouse together, not saying a word. This is literally the most uncomfortable thing I have ever been through. We had no words for each other. After eight years of marriage we had nothing to say to each other. Eight years of our lives had literally just gone down the drain and we had no words to say to each other. We reached the doors. We looked at each other and  parted our separate ways.

I walked to my car. I unlocked it then got in. I buckled my seatbelt. I didn't think that I would feel this way. I thought I would be happy once I signed the papers. Instead, the tears started flowing down my cheeks. I buried my face in my hands and cried. Eight years and it's all over. The man that I thought I loved is gone. We spent eight years of our lives together and it's all over.

I finally pulled myself together and put the keys in the ignition and started it. I pulled out of my parking space and drove home. The home that Mark and I bought together was officially mine. I pulled into the driveway and went inside. I closed the door and just looked at the house. Mark had gotten his things from the house months ago. I don't know, the house just seemed emptier. I walked over to the couch and sat down. All I could think about is if I will ever find love and be happy again.