How It's Supposed to Be

Chapter Eleven

                  

I ran down to my car and threw my bag in. I had tears running down my cheeks. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot as fast as I could. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw Jimi standing in the parking lot. I kept on driving. I set my phone in the cup holder and I saw it light up. Jimi was calling. I just ignored it and kept driving.

I pulled into my driveway and grabbed my things and went inside. I closed the door behind me and set my bag down on the floor. I leaned up against the door and buried my face in my hands. I slid down the door and sat down on the floor. The tears wouldn't stop flowing. The man that I love is cheating on me. Maybe I'm just not meant to be with someone. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy. I heard my phone going off again. I looked over at it and it was Jimi. I ignored it again.

I stood up and decided to finish my laundry. I put the rest of my clothes in the machine and closed the lid. Then I went back into the living room and sat down on the couch and continued to cry. How could he do this to me? I really thought that we were meant to be together. I honestly can't see myself without him. What am I supposed to do now? I am literally a lost puppy without him. What does this mean for the band? I can't even stand to look at him. What are we going to do? My thoughts are overwhelming. I heard my phone ring again and this time it wasn't Jimi. I pulled myself together enough to answer the phone.

"Hello" I answer.

"Hey Karen, Stephen and I are going to have a cookout this weekend and are wondering if you and Jimi were free" Kimberly said.

"That sounds like a lot of fun, but I don't think I can make it" I said and sniffled.

"Karen are you Ok?" she asked.

"I think Jimi is cheating on me" I said.

"What?! How do you know?" She asked.

"I left a bag at his house this morning and when I went to go pick it up there was a woman at his apartment. Before I opened the door, I heard Jimi tell her to leave before I showed up and she said that he can't ignore what they had. When I opened the door, he was handing her clothes" I said with tears forming again.

"What did you do?" She asked.

"I grabbed my bag and left" I said.

"Well I am going to have to give him a beat down" Kimberly said.

"Go for it" I said and giggled.

"Do you want me to come over for a little bit and keep you company?

"I think I would rather just be alone for a little while"

"Alright, if you need anything just give me a call and I will be there for you in a heartbeat"

"Thanks Kim. I don't know what I would do without you"

"What are friends for?"

"I'll talk to you later" I said.

"Bye Karen" Kimberly said and I hung up the phone and set it on the couch.

I was sitting on the couch with my knees pulled up to my chest. I was completely lost in my thoughts. I snapped out of them when I heard my phone ring again. It was Jimi again. I just shook my head and ignored it. My phone went off again. This time Jimi left a voicemail. I am just curious as to what he has to say for himself. So I decide to listen to it. I unlock my phone and saw that I had twenty-three missed calls and eighteen texts from Jimi. I dial my voicemail and I wait until I hear his message.

"Hey Karen, I know what you must be thinking. I promise you nothing happened with Marissa. Marissa and I dated about five months before you and I started dating. She had left a few things at my apartment that I had completely forgot about. She texted me and wanted to come and pick them up. Then she told me she wanted to get back together, but I told her that I am seeing someone who I am in love with. When you came over I was trying to get her to leave. I promise I would never cheat on you. I love you too much....Please call me back. I love you"

I hung up my phone. Is he telling the truth? What if he's not and I get hurt all over again. I really don't think I could handle him cheating on me. But I am still in love with him. Maybe I should just go over there and we can talk about this. I just can't stand the thought of him cheating on me. I honestly have no idea what to do. I'll just go for a drive to clear my head.

I wipe my tears off my cheeks and stood up. I switched my laundry and went upstairs to change clothes. When I came back downstairs, I grabbed my keys. I got in my car and backed out of the driveway. I started driving down the road. I had no idea where I was going. I just kept on driving. I decided to drive out of town on the backroads. I turned on the radio for some background noise. I started singing along to the song that was on. It finished and went to a commercial break. I changed the station. A new song had just started. I heard the first few notes and knew exactly what song it was. It was the song Jimi and I danced to in the kitchen of his apartment when we first started dating. I knew what I had to do.

I found a dead end and turned around and headed back into town. I had no idea how I was going to handle this. The tears started welling up in my eyes again at the thought of everything that has happened in the past four hours.

I pulled into the parking lot and got out of my car. I walked into the building and walked to the elevator. I reached his floor and walked down the hallway to his door. I didn't want to use my key so I decided to knock. I was so nervous, my hands were shaking. I still had tears in my eyes. I slowly raised my hand and finally got the courage to knock on the door.

After I knocked on the door, I took a step back and waited for Jimi to open the door. While I was waiting for him to come to the door I was trying to calm down, but the more I thought about it, the more the tears started flowing.

I heard the door unlock and saw the door knob turn. Alright, here goes nothing. Jimi opened the door. He looked surprised to see me. "Hey, you're here" he said softly, with a small smile on his face. I looked up at him and the tears started flowing heavily and they wouldn't stop. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him and cried into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and let out a sigh of relief. We stood in the hallway holding each other.

After a few minutes we let go of each other. He put his arm around me and pulled me inside. I had my arms crossed and I was still crying. Jimi shut the door behind him and looked at me. I was trying my best to pull myself together, but it just wasn't happening. He walked over to me and cupped his hands on my cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you" He said. "I hate that I made you this upset. It kills me to see you cry, especially when I am the one who caused it" He said. I started crying even more. "I can't...I can't lose you" I said through the tears, inhaling deep breaths. He pulled me in for a hug. "You will never lose me. I promise, I'm not going anywhere. I love you more than anything" He said with his arms wrapped around me. I just stood there crying into his chest because apparently that is all I can do right now.

I finally calmed down enough. I pulled away from Jimi and he grabbed my hand and we sat down on the couch. "Look, Karen. Nothing happened between Marissa and I. She came over to pick up her things. I promise that's all that happened. She got her things then left." He said. I nodded my head. "You promise you didn't cheat?" I asked seriously. "I would never even think about cheating on you" He said just as seriously. "Ok" I said quietly. "I love you so much and I would never do anything to hurt you" he said. "I love you too." I replied.  He cupped my cheeks and pulled me in for a kiss.

"I'm so sorry that all of this happened. I was so scared that I had lost you" Jimi said. "I should have just let you explain instead of jumping to conclusions and walking out right away, but it scares me to think that I could have lost you so easily to someone else" I said and scooted closer to him on the couch. He wrapped his arm around me. "You will never lose me to someone else. I can't even imagine my life without you" He said. "I can't imagine my life without you either" I added. Then he kissed me.