RAGE

Chapter 4. Wanting Scarlett

Rage

You are a dangerous little thing, Scarlett.
Every bit of your attention is like cocaine. Little by little it is ecstasy until you want more. More is where the addiction starts, little girl. A dangerous addiction... It is the most dangerous thing when your addiction is to a person... when they are gone, there is no fix.

I am sure one day this little chicken game of yours will make you run for the hills the moment you realise just who you have been provoking these past few days. I didn't know I had emotions other than anger until I met you. Now you, a tiny little thing is playing with every one of those foreign emotions.

I hope all of this is just a mere attraction to each other and nothing more. Because if it is more then I am not sure how any of us will get out of it unscathed...

It shouldn't feel this intense and yet it does...

—

You sketch really well, little girl. I hadn't realised that maybe this was as intense for me as it is for you. You notice me in ways I never have. I had stopped looking at myself in the mirror a long time ago. You made me love myself for the very first time...

Your drawing of me is as beautiful as it is haunting. I am sitting in that same booth but my face is gloomy, and everything around me is colourful as I sat alone, black and white in a state of loneliness. Is that how you saw me? Alone...

I didn't know I possessed beauty until you sketched me. My eyes were haunting, but my face, cast downwards, staring at the cup of coffee in front of me, it spoke...

It spoke of everything you saw in me and still didn't run...

You might think I am some poetic influence on your paintings. The truth is, I am the red colour you want to paint the bloodshed with. You saw what I refused to see in me.

I drop the sketchpad back at your study table and turn around.

You were sprawled in the middle of your king-sized bed, with your arms curled around your head like a child. I broke into your apartment thinking you would be at the diner but you weren't. I may have misjudged and this was a careless mistake I usually avoid making. It was two in the afternoon and when I started following you a couple of nights ago, I had learnt of your consistent pattern.

I wanted to know more about you. This would have been easier for me if I had just asked Martin to look into who you really were, he would have found out everything I needed to know about you within a few days. Instead here I was sneaking and breaking into your apartment while you are asleep. I wanted to give you a chance to tell me about yourself. Solve the mystery of who you really were and why you have such a hold on me.

How did you manage to own such a pretty little apartment? A two-bedroom bath with a balcony in the hall. No one who rents an apartment puts as much effort into decorating it as you did. I didn't have to check on the paperwork to confirm you own this apartment. You made it home. It certainly piqued my interest. An apartment such as this doesn't exist in this part of town. That means you purchased this and made it into a little heaven to suit your taste. From the curtains to the decorative pillows on the couch, everything was thought of by you, wasn't it? I must say you have great taste. But how could you afford to pay for this? I am sure that filthy diner doesn't pay you much to be able to buy an apartment no matter how shitty this part of town is. I know every nook and cranny of this country. No matter how shitty, this would have cost you, considering this is a fairly new apartment complex. Did you inherit a fortune from your parents? Hmm... I don't know much about you but from what I can see so far there are no parents in the picture.

Another mystery to unravel about you... Aren't you full of secrets, little one?

It wasn't until I spotted the three bottles of pills at your bedside table that I released a sigh of relief when I entered your bedroom. What bothers you so much that you can't sleep without these pills little one?