They let me go once they decided that my only problem was pregnancy. I cried for what felt like weeks. I cried the entire way home. I cried in my living room. I cried in the kitchen. In the bathroom. I just cried until I was dry.
I must have passed out because when I woke up, it was daylight. My eyes burned as the sun beamed on my face. I was still in my clothes from last night with the papers still crumpled in my hands. I threw the papers away from me, completely offended by the information they held. I sat up on my floor, clutching my phone to my chest. I called Eva when I left the hospital but I never took the time to answer her back.
37 missed calls.
"I should probably call her back." I mumbled.
I mentally willed myself to speak words even though I didn't want to. The thought of breathing even pained me.
"Bitch, why is there a chain on your door? I should kill you. I went to the hospital and they said you weren't there. Wait, why were you in the hospital? Are you dead? Is this your spirit?" Eva ranted.
I held back a smile.
"It's me. And I have terrible news." I breathed.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Ohmygod did you break anything? Are you sick?" She rambled.
"I'm pregnant, E. Like period stopping, body ruining, life ruining, weird cravings, giving birth, lifetime commitment. Pregnant." I sobbed.
"Oh Harp." Eva breathed.
"I can't do this." I choked out.
I hung up the phone and tossed it across the room. My body shook with unshed tears. I wailed harder as reality hit. I'm ashamed. Disgusted. Cursed.
A whore.
There's no way in hell I can go through with this.
I hid my key in a different spot so Eva couldn't get in. She has been trying to contact me since I told her. She even threatened to break my door down. She was the only one. I haven't told anyone else. I never want to.
"At least I'm not 16 and pregnant." I mumbled to myself.
No, you're 19 and stupid.
I groaned and went back to the cave that I called a bedroom. The pitch black coolness welcomed me with open arms. The closest thing to feeling what I wanted.
----
As darkness fell, so did my mood. I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into myself. Not like a spiral, but like never ending quicksand. Slow, tortuous, restricting. It was pulling me under and the harder I fought, the deeper I fell.
I stood in front of the mirror for the first time in I don't know how many days. I felt beautiful the last time I looked. My hair was perfect. My skin was healthy. My body was becoming perfect. Days later... nothing was the same.
Months later, I'll be ruined.
I looked at the tears streaming down my face. I looked exactly how I felt. Lifeless. My eyes were hollow, begging for sleep. My face was twisted in agony. I felt empty. Disgusting. Numb.
Just do it.
End it all while you can.
It will only get worse from here.
Do it.
Without a second thought, I reached into the cabinet and grabbed my sleeping pills. I popped one into my mouth. Then one more. Then another. Sleep didn't come after those. Before I knew it, I tossed a handful into my mouth. My body seemed to want me to suffer. I tried to swallow them, but my stomach rebelled against my plan of achieving eternal sleep. As my escape emptied into the toilet, so did my cries for mercy.
----
Eva
*
Harper hung up on me right when I was going to ask how she felt. I already knew based on how she told me. Body ruining. Life ruining.
YOU ARE READING
The Billion Dollar Mistake
Random"You are very pregnant, Harper." Harper Rayne Everson craves solitude and stability. "I'm sorry Mr. Myles, not this time." Lucien Roma Myles only wants one thing from life, a child. What happens when their lives cross paths? Will they get along or...
