Ruin || Shawn Mendes

Bring It Back

{Shawn's POV}

What have I just done.
It was wrong. Hell I didn't even feel anything. Did I even initiate it? Or did she?

I start the ignition and I drive off quickly. Thoughts of that moment, kept on replaying in my head. Why did I even get myself into that situation in the first place?
Fuck fuck fuck

What was I going to do about Lexi?
I can't tell her. If I do, she'd break up with me and I don't want that. I wouldn't be able to explain and justify myself so that she would forgive me. I just can't tell her. And with Lauren, I won't speak to her again. It might not even be her fault, but I can't face her. I just can't.

Soon I get home to the house being empty. My family have gone to visit my cousins for the week.
I look furiously in the cupboard and I find some of my dads liquor. I don't hesitate to open it and drink it straight from the bottle.
I walk upstairs, still holding the drink, and blast up the music on my speakers.
I need to try and forget what just happened, even if it is just for a night.

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I slowly opened my eyes, to the bright light that was shining through my window. I sit up and look at my surroundings.
I was still in last nights clothes and there were empty liquor bottles scattered around my room.
I'm surprised I didn't have a hangover, but I guess I've never really had one of those before.
I find my phone laying on the floor and I unlock it to see if I had any messages. The only person who sent me a message was Lauren. Of course it was.
It says, "Shawn can we talk about what happened last night?". I huffed as I sent a message back saying, "There's nothing to talk about, it was a mistake. We can't bring whatever we had back."
I'm only being honest, of course I care about her, but we need to move on from that chapter in our lives. And I guess that kiss made me realise that I do really love Lexi.

Oh god Lexi.

I send her a message asking if we could go to the park this afternoon. Normally she'd text me back fairly quickly, but it's been a while and I haven't heard anything. I brush it off, assuming that she hasn't woken up yet.

I take a hot shower, hoping that I can get the smell of alcohol off me. When I got out, I decided to put on this weird face mask thing that Lexi told me I should try. I put the grey stuff all around my face.
I check my phone and I didn't get a reply from Lexi.
Strange.
I wait for the 15 minutes before I rinsed my face. Surprisingly my face didn't get too red and it felt super soft.
I then change into my normal outfit of my black skinny jeans and grey long sleeved top.
I heard a buzzing from my phone and I rush to it.
"Get up to 40% off Pizza Today Only."
I huff and put my phone into my pocket.

It buzzed again and I instantly got it back out again.
It was her. She said, "Sure, see you then."
I took this as a good sign.
I still feel shitty and guilt over what happened last night, but I can move on from it, and what Lexi won't know, won't hurt her.

I go downstairs to the empty kitchen and I pour myself a glass of orange juice. I look over onto the counter and I see the small bag that had the necklace in it. I quickly down the juice and I grab the bag as I leave.

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{Lexi's POV}

I tried to ignore Shawn's message, but I felt bad. I wanted him to realise I was annoyed, but really I was just being unnecessary. So I said that I'll meet him at the park.

My Mum had already left for work, and I didn't have a ride, so I looked at my watch as I left my house to walk.
I put my earphones in and the first thing that plays on shuffle is Charlie Puth. I'm not going to lie, I'm a pretty big fan of his.

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About 20 minutes later, I arrive at the park. I look around and there's no sign of Shawn. I walk around for a bit and then sit on the only bench that didn't have dirt on it.

Soon enough, I heard some footsteps approach, which made me take my eyes off my phone and up to the upcoming person.

"Hey Lexi." Shawn says, smiling, whilst sitting down next to me.
"Hi Shawn." I reply. "How was last night?"
"Oh it was um." He pauses. "It was good catching up with everyone."
"Oh that's good, how was everyone?"
"They're all good, my friend Matt is a thing with my other friend Zoe, it's so weird that they're together know." He laughs.
"I need to meet your friends one day." I smile.
"You should, they'd love you."
There was a brief moment of silence where I nodded my head.
"So... um... Lexi?-"
"Yeah." I reply.
"I did feel bad that I cancelled on you last minute last night, you must've gone to a lot of trouble.-"
"It's fine really Shawn-"
"But it's not, I'm so sorry honey."
"Shawn I was just over reacting.-"
"Were you?" He asks, confused.
"Oh no, not really." I laugh, awkwardly.
"Now Lexi, I have something for you." He says, getting something out of his coat pocket.
"You didn't have to get me anything.-"
"Just shush and open it." He chuckles.
"Ok fine." I smile back, as I carefully open the smooth black box.
In it was a beautiful sliver necklace. The shiny silver pendant was formed in the shape of a rose. I pick it up, and Shawn slowly takes it from my hands and puts it on around my neck.
"Shawn... I love it." I say.
"I'm happy that you do, although now thinking of it, I'm probably the most cringeworthy guy you know." He laughs.
"Although that is true, I still love you all the same."
He leans in and kisses me slowly.