Ruin || Shawn Mendes

Letting Go

{Lexi's POV}

"Hey, is everything alright? Olivia nudges.
"It's just-" I signal my head over to the guy and the car, who was about 40 yards away.

"It's Shawn! That's it, if he can't face you then he's gonna have to face me-".

I pull Olivia back, not that Shawn had noticed, he only just pulled up.

"Listen, I need to do this, I need to talk to him. Go home, after this I think I will want to walk home."
"I don't want to leave you-"
"I'll call you once I get home, I promise."
"Okay... Just remember that you're the strongest person I know and that you don't need scum like him."
"Thanks...See you soon."

Olivia gets into her car and she drives off hastily. I look at the floor before I have the courage to go up to Shawn, who was getting something out the trunk of his car.

Every step I was taking, made my knees feel like they were going to fall apart, my heart was sinking into my chest and my hands were shaking nervously.

As soon as he closed the back of his jeep, he saw me instantly.

"Shawn."

"Lexi I-"

"I didn't have a plan as to what I was going to say to you. Because I think we both knew you certainly wasn't go try and speak to me." I say, cutting him off.

"You saw... didn't you?" He says quietly.
"I saw you making out with my supposed best friend. Who was telling me about a guy she liked, who she thought liked her back. So yeah I saw."

"I figured once I saw your note saying that you left-"
"But you didn't bother calling, not even attempting to apologize when you saw it." I say. "Did you have sex with her Shawn? Did you really spend another week with her after I left?"

"I just-"

"I never took you as a person who cheats." I say, with tears filling up in my eyes.

"We came back to the hotel, I said at the club that what we just done was a mistake. But then I saw you left, I was so close to having sex with her. But I didn't Lexi-"

"Oh so that makes everything okay?!" I joke.

"Of course not. And I didn't call you when I got back because I knew there was no point in trying to get your forgiveness."

"So there was no point in fighting for me? I get it Shawn, this is what you're like. You told me all about how you treated girls before me....I wasn't even supposed to fall in love with you at the start, hell, now I wish I never knew you. We were just supposed to be friends. But somehow, in some way, I managed to fall for you. How stupid I was, gosh. You were never supposed to find out about my idiotic crush on you. But you did, and now, here we are, acting like complete strangers and falling apart."

"I understand that you want to leave me, I do, just know that I loved you so so much. And that it kills me that I'm going to say this..."

"Say what?" I cry.

"I'm letting you go." He says, with his brown eyes staring at me.

"What? You break my heart, yet you're the one letting me go? Shawn we were over the moment you kissed Erin."

"I knew it was over before then."

These words rung in my ears, my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Shawn?"

"I love you and I still do. Lexi I never told you but on the night I went to the bonfire, I made a mistake of kissing Lauren. I felt so shitty and I hated myself. And for a while everything seemed to be getting better. And after the accident I really did try to be better for you. But I realised that all I ever do is let you down and hurt people. The only way I can explain it is if you listen to one of my songs on my album, it's called Don't Be A Fool. That's the one Camila helped me write. I'm sorry Lexi."

"So you're just going?"

"Yeah, I'm touring soon so you won't see me around too much, I'm just not good for you."
"Have this back then." I say coldly, whilst taking off my rose necklace he once bought me. I shoved it into his hand which grasped onto it tightly.

And with that, he gave me one last look, before he turned around and left.