Ruin || Shawn Mendes

Ruin

{Lexi's POV}

I sit down at the dinner table, with my microwave meal for one right in front of me.
"God this is depressing." I thought to myself.

I scroll through twitter, to see if anything was going on. Sadly nothing, the only thing trending was national bagel day. Typical.

I take few bits of this disgusting version of lasagne, before I give up and throw it in the bin.
My browsing is interupted by my phone ringing, it was Olivia.

"Have you made your mind up? Are you going to go?" She says straight away.
"You're meant to be packing for your honeymoon, stop worrying about me." I reply.
"I do worry Lexi, I really think you should go."
"I said it yesterday and I'll say it again, I'm not going to meet Shawn tonight."
"Please Lexi-"
"I'm sorry Olivia but not everyone gets a happily ever after like you."

"Well, okay then." She says.
"I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean that at all, please don't hate me." I apologise.
"I could never hate you, just open your front door?"
"What?!"
"Just do it!" She laughs.

I put the phone down and go over to the front door quickly and open it.
"What are you doing here?!" I laugh.

"Don't worry, our flight isn't until the morning and I'm all packed. I just need you to go tonight."
"Why is it so important?" I ask.

"Because you're in love with him and he's in love with you and its like a goddamn tragedy because you look at him and see everything that you were and he looks at you and sees everything you could be. And I'm standing here wanting you to go to the studio and talk to him to see if you can both meet halfway."

"He broke me Livi.... How could I forget that? Not only did he kiss another girl, he lied and made me feel like shit."

"And he thought he'd keep hurting you if he fought for you. But as it turns out, you're both a mess without the other. Now I'm begging you to go tonight."

"And if I do?"
"Then you won't regret it." She replies

"Fine, fine, fine, fine." I say.

"I'll leave you to change, I don't think you should be going out in that." She says.
"What's wrong with my onesie?" I laugh

"I love you Lexi, I'll see you when I get back." She chuckled as she makes her way out the door.
"HAVE A GREAT TIME! I shout as she leaves.

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I surprisingly take an effort into what I was going to wear. I laid out different jeans and tops. I mean, I wasn't doing this to please Shawn. God no. I wanted to feel confident and when I feel confident, I'm strong. In the end I opted for my favourite black jeans and a grey long sleeved top.

It was 11pm and the buses wouldn't be running at this time, so I booked a taxi. Probably not a great idea at this time of night, considering I'm on my own too. But fuck it, I'm not going to get pulled over by the police for driving my mum's car illegally.

Soon the taxi came and I got in. Luckily it was a woman, we even had a conversation about her family and my complicated relationship on the way.

Nonetheless, we were soon outside Island Records in central Toronto.
"Here you go." I say, handing the $15 to her.
"Don't be silly, all I want is for you and that guy to sort everything out." She smiles.
"Are you sure?"
" I am sweetie. Good luck."
"Oh okay, thankyou." I smile.

---------------------------

I make my way into the lobby. It was open 24 hours but the only people there are normally security and the cleaners. I've never been here and it have been so empty. It was quite scary.

I take the elevator instead of the stairs, purely at the fact I'd be shit scared. I go up to the 6th floor.

The doors soon opened and the hallway was pretty dim, however I could see the light on in Shawn's studio. At this moment, my confidence started to deteriorate. Only Shawn could do this to me.

I walk over, almost silently, thinking how much I'd rather just run back down the stairs, which was saying something.

Taking a deep breath, I knock ever so slightly on the door, which was already slightly open.

"Lexi?" I heard him say as he rushes over to open the door completely.
"Hi... I guess." I mumble.
"I really didn't think you'd come." Shawn says.
"Why's that?"
"Did you even think you'd come?" He questions.

"Good point. Now whats the big deal about being in your studio at midnight? I ask hastily.
"I wrote this song, pretty much the day I saw you in the coffee shop."
"That was months ago." I say.
"And my feelings haven't changed. So I wrote this song, and I don't know what I'm expecting from it. It's okay if you don't want to listen-"

"I will."

He passes me the headphones, as I sit down on the massive black chair.
He looks so nervous and it begins to play. However, I close my eyes, only focusing on what I'm going to hear.

It starts off with a slow bass strum.
Do ya... do you think about me?
And do ya... do you feel the same way? Yeah
And do ya... do you remember how it felt?
'Cause I do. So listen to me, baby.

And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,
But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?
And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, baby,
But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? Yeah

And do ya... do you think about me at all?
And do you... do you feel the same way?
Oh, tell me, babe.
And do ya... do you remember how it felt?
'Cause I do. So listen to me now. Oh oh

And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,
But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?
And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, baby,
But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one?

Do I ever cross your mind?
Do I ever cross your mind?
Do I ever cross your mind?
Do I ever cross your mind?
Whoa oh oh

And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,
But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?
And I don't wanna, I don't wanna ruin your happiness, baby,
But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? Yeah

Oh Oh
Do I ever, said I, do I ever, said I, Do I?
Do I ever ,said I, do I ever, said I? Oh oh oh oh
Do I ever... do I ever cross your mind?
Not tryna ruin your happiness at all. 

I take off the headphones slowly, purely in shock of what I have just heard.

"I understand if you want to leave and never come back... it's just I'm in love with you. And it's not because its 12am at night and I haven't slept in over two days. It's because I am truly inconveniently in love with you. And I will continue on loving you. Tomorrow and the days that goes on after that. I'm so utterly in love with you and I'm terrified." Shawn says, with pain in his eyes.
"I, I still have this." He shows me the rose necklace that I gave back to him months ago.

"And after all this time, I can't believe I still want you." I reply.

I stood up and he kissed me. My world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words never would be. His hand rested below my ear, him thumb caressing the side of my cheek as our breaths mingled. I ran my fingers down his spine pulling him closer until there was no space left between us and I could feel the beating of his heart against my chest.

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{A/N definitely close to the end! I'm in the middle of my exams rn but Im already planning a new book!
what else could happen in the last few chapters?}