Ruin || Shawn Mendes

Honesty

{Shawn's POV}

I felt numb. Not angry, not devastated, not even upset. Just numb to every emotion, as I begin to walk out of her room.

The silence was sharply broken by a noise.
A cough.

I jolt by head back to see Lexi coughing.

"DOCTOR, WE NEED A DOCTOR!" I shout, as I rush to her side and clasp her hand.

Doctors soon rushed in and took the tubes out her throat.
"Lexi, you're going to be okay." I say, stroking her head gently.

"WHAT HAPPENED." Her Mom says, in shock, as she didn't know what just happened.
"She's breathing on her own, and she's regained consciousness." The doctor says as he takes her blood pressures and checks her heart rate.
"Oh my god. Lexi, my baby. I can't believe you're okay." She cries, hugging her carefully.

"Mom?" She struggles to say.
"Darling you don't need to speak, you're going to be okay, that's all that matters right now."
"I'm sorry-." Lexi says, looking up to her.
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault."

"Mrs Taylor, would you like me to give you two some time?" I ask.
"Shawn... Let me just call her Dad, you stay as long as you like." She smiles, with a sense of relief.

She gets her phone and calls Lexi's dad outside in the corridor.

"Lexi, oh my god." I say, as I sit down beside her.
"Shawn-" Her voice scratches.
"The moment I thought I was going to lose you, it felt like I was going to die too."
"Don't be so over dramatic." She manages to laugh.
"Maybe now isn't the best time to be making jokes." I smile. "I want you to know that I'm never gonna let anything and happen to you ever again."
"Promise you won't ever leave?"
"Didn't even cross my mind." I kiss her cheek.

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{Lexi's POV}

It's been about two weeks since the accident. I haven't really talked about what happened that night to Shawn. It was me being over dramatic, he seemed so upset and scared over what happened, that I couldn't tell him why I was out at that time of night.

I suffered from a broken rib and a severe concussion. But the pressure in my brain went down dramatically, and I should be able to go home in the next few days.

Shawn should be here soon. He's been up to visit me everyday with out fail. He always looks tired, and I say that he doesn't have to come but he insists. I know he has other things to be getting on with.

And my Mom has been making the biggest fuss of me. She comes most evenings when she doesn't have work and always brings Ice Tea and chocolate. And my Dad has even been to see me a few times. Although when he's here, we don't have that much to say to each other. We defiantly don't talk about Shawn. But at least he's bothered to come over and make the effort.

Currently I was watching an episode of The Vampire Diaries on my laptop. Is it just me who finds Klaus a sweetheart?

"You're so typical." Shawn jokes, as he walks into my room.
"I have nothing else to watch," I laugh, as I close the laptop.
"So how are you feeling today?" He asks, sitting next to me.
"Pretty much the same as every other day." I reply. "What about you?"
"Me? I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I mean Andrew is giving me a bit of stress with album deadlines, but that's nothing."
"Doesn't sound like nothing. You know you don't have to come here everyday."
"All I want is to be with you, even if that's spending a few hours in a hospital with you." He smiles.
"I can't believe I nearly died." I reflect.
"Let's not spend that much time thinking about about that." He says, looking at me. I could see the pain that night caused.
"I don't even know why I thought going for a walk at 2am was a good idea."
"Why did you?" He asks.

I was conflicted whether I should tell him or not. But I had to be honest. And I wasn't lying before, I just never spoke about it.

"Lexi?" He says, holding my hand.
"That night, we were meant to be going out to that new restaurant right?" I say, taking a deep breath.
"And I cancelled...."
"You did, and I wasn't that annoyed because I thought you were going to Aaliyah's hockey game."
"Oh." He pauses. "Lexi I-"
I cut him off and said, "And around 1:30 that night, I was going to text you and ask how it went, but I decided to go on twitter just to have a look at random stuff. And my mentions were going crazy. So I looked as to why and there were these pictures." I look at him.
"I think I know which ones." He says, as he looks down.
"So it was clear that you were at a party... And dancing pretty closely with another girl."
"It wasn't like that, you have to believe me. I thought I was just being nice because she was a fan, they were taken in such a bad context Lexi-".
"So I was upset and angry that you lied and to be honest I felt a little heartbroken. So I thought it was a good idea to go out on a walk to clear my head. I wasn't even out long. And I crossed the road and dropped my keys. I picked them up and that's when the car hit me and sped off."
"This is all my fucking fault." He says, distressingly.
"No Shawn-" I try to say.
"I thought that if you didn't know where I was going, then I wouldn't hurt you by cancelling that date. But clearly I did and you ended up in hospital.-"
"Please don't blame yourself, I don't blame you."
"How are you okay with what I done? You could of died."
"I'm not completely okay with it Shawn. But life is too short to be upset and angry Shawn, I just want to be with you and be happy."
"I don't know what I would've done with you ."
"Like you said, let's not think too much about it." I smile. "Oh and I never said before, but as we're being honest here, I heard the last part of what you were saying to me before I woke up. If I recall you said something about falling hard for me."
"I'm not even going to deny that because it's true."
"Come here." I say, putting my arms out.
He got up and held me. His long arms always made me feel warm and safe when I was in them. And this, this is what happiness is right now.