Ruin || Shawn Mendes

Kryptonite

3 Months Later...

{Lexi's POV}

Walking into the venue, I was welcomed by a free glass of champagne.
"Andrew should have a 30th birthday party more often." I thought to myself, whilst smiling.

I quickly see Olivia across the room so I walk over to her.
"There's my favourite person," she screams.
"I'm somewhat hurt." Ian replies, stunned.
"Oh shush you." Olivia laughs, tapping him slightly on his chest.
"I'm a bit late, I haven't missed much have I?" I ask, sipping some of that champagne.
"Nope, unless you count Andrew's brother giving a speech, drunk out of his mind." Ian says, putting his arm around Olivia.
"Oh so a lot then." I laugh.
-----------

We all chat for a while, before I leave them to have a walk outside. I can only be a third wheel for so long.
The venue was out of the city, in this posh hotel.

Looking around the faintly dimmed flower garden, I see a familiar brown haired guy sitting alone on a bench.

"Hey stranger. What are you doing out here?" I smiled at Shawn as I sit down beside him.

"Lexi, how are you? Oh I just wanted some fresh air. God it must've been a month since I last saw you." Shawn says in astonishment.

"I'm really good, did you hear? I'm going on tour next month, and it's already sold out!" I say, trying to make this less awkward.
"Really?! Ah thats amazing, I'm so proud of you." He replies, smiling.

"Thank you." I blush.

For a few moments there was an tense silence. I think we were both remembering how sad our last conversation was. I remember it vividly.
It was a month ago on a Monday morning. We were both having breakfast at Tim Hortons. I had pancakes and Shawn had a breakfast wrap.
And there was a moment when we both looked into each others eyes, and we knew it was over.
After a straight week of arguing about anything and everything, we couldn't do it anymore.
-----
"Lexi please, I just want you to be happy." Shawn said to me, putting down his coffee and holding my cold hands. The cold air from some stranger walking sent a shiver down my spine. "I want nothing more than for you to be the happiest girl in the world. How can I get you back to that?" Shawn continued.
"I... I don't know." I replied. I just didn't want to hurt him. "I just want to be happy." I repeated, I looked up not wanting to make eye contact.
"I know. I want you to be happy. But, what if I'm the one stopping you?" Shawn asked.
-----

You see, we were trying to make something work that just wasn't there anymore. We ended things as maturely as we could. I mean there were tears and heartbreak, but it was inevitable.
And in this moment, there was so much I still had left to say to him.

"I should go back inside, Matt is probably waiting for me-" Shawn rushes, as he stands up.

"Wait." I blast, not wanting him to leave.
"What is it?" He asks, as he stops and turns back around to me

"I wanna blame it on timing." I say.
"Lexi? Don't-"
"You know, wrong time, wrong place type of situation." I continue. "Like perhaps if we met later on in life when we were better for each other, things would've worked out the way we hoped they would, maybe we would've made it." I pause. "But I guess sometimes, people just don't fit together no matter what you do or how hard you try. And that's that. But... but do you regret it?"

"What?" Shawn asks, baffled.

"I don't know." My voice shook. "Everything."

He was quiet for a long moment. Heat flooded my cheeks. I opened my mouth to tell him to forget I asked, but finally he said, "Just because we didn't work out doesn't mean you weren't the best thing  that ever happened to me. Because you were."

{Shawn's POV}

"Yeah." She says with glistening eyes, "You too."

"Listen to me Lexi, we fell into each other, but I never learned how to love you in the way that you deserved because I couldn't even love myself. I'm sorry that things ended like this. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you the world. And yes, I still love you and I can't imagine a day I won't, but I am your poison and you are my kryptonite. Maybe in another life when I'm not so fucked up in the head, we'll meet in a coffee shop and you'll smile at me with bright eyes. Maybe then, I'll learn how to love you right."

{A/N remember those last two sentences}

We both remained sitting there for a while, not wanting to go back to reality. My hands stayed there holding hers.

"Where do we go from here?" I ask, breaking the still silence.
"We take it day by day, we could try and be friends, but I don't even think I could, could you?"
"Let's think of it like this, if I see you around, I'll say hey and I'll ask about your day?"
"Sounds good to me." She smiles.
"Should we go inside? It's getting cold." I ask.

"In a minute, I just want to be with you for last time, for a little while longer." Lexi replies.
I sit back down next to her and She leans back against me,  with my arms holding her like I used to do.

And I guess that's when you know you'll always love someone.