Alexandria

Chapter 23

Danielle's POV

I sat on my bed with my laptop. Looked on my messages on Facebook. They were as usual. People telling me that I was worthless, ugly, emo, slut, freak. The list can be long. 

The constant bullying I was going through. It wasn't something I would get used to. It wasn't something I would be able to live with. 

It all was prepared. I just had to wait for the right moment.

I could hear my brother and my mother talk outside my room. 

"Do you have to go to Jimmie's again? You're never home anymore", my mom said. 

"Mom I was home every day last week.  And I promise I'll be home tomorrow again", John said. 

It was always like that when John was gonna stay at Jimmie's house. I didn't even know why mom cared anymore. John had basically moved in with Jimmie, Emmie and Carl. I would probably had done the same if I still hung out with them but I didn't.

It felt so weird to be there when Alexandria wasn't. I could see in Jimmie's eyes how much he missed her and for some reason it felt like I only reminded him of her. So I stopped being with them after she had left. 

Someone knocked at my door and John walked into my room.

"I'm going to Jimmie, wanna come?" he asked.

"No I'm gonna stay here", I said with a fake smile. I knew he could see it. 

"Is anything wrong?" he asked and looked worried.

"No", I said and tried to smile again so he would think that it wasn't. 

But it was. I knew that this was the last time I would see my twin brother. My best friend. And he had no idea. 

"Okay", he said and smiled a little. "If you want to come later just call me and I'll come pick you up okay?" 

"Sure."

"Bye sis", he said and hugged me.

"I love you", I whispered. 

"Love you too", he said and walked out. 

I closed the door after him and turned up the volume on the music that was playing on my computer. The song was Danger Line with Avenged Sevenfold. My favorite band. 

"My sixteen locked and loaded

All fear has been avoided

You say the words and my weapon is drawnThis one could be my last time

Some people call it war crime

I may be staring down a lethal site… do die"

I sat down on my bed took the razor that laid on the nightstand in front of me. Just one little cut. That's all. Then it will all be gone. I thought for myself. 

I placed the razor at my wrist as the tears fell from my eyes. I made the cut. The blood started to come out from the wound but I felt nothing. I made the cut deeper and deeper and started to feel more and more tired. 

I laid down on my bed and listened to the lyrics of the song.

"Now I found myself in my own blood

The damage done is far beyond repairI never put my faith in up above

But now I'm hoping someone's there"

It started to get harder to listen to every word. I could feel how life was getting dragged out of me. There was no turning back now. 

The last line of the song and I knew it was over. I could feel the heavy feeling that had been on my shoulders for so many years disappear. 

"Remind the lord to leave his light on, for me

I'm free"