Alexandria

Chapter 31

Alexandria's POV

I managed to stop the tears from keep on falling once I was outside. I sat down on the ground outside the venue. I lit a cigarette, maybe that could calm me down a little. 

I couldn't believe I just did that on stage, in front of so many fans. Maybe was it a bad idea to start touring again so soon after all. 

The door I sat next to opened and out came Ally. 

"Are you okay?" she asked worried and sat down next to me.

"No I'm not", I said, looking down on the ground. 

"I understand that this whole thing is hard for you but I want you to know that you were really strong for going on as long as you did", she said and put her arm around my shoulders. 

"I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I can keep on doing all these things", I said.

"Let it take some time Alex. This won't go away in a minute, it takes time. Just take your time to mourn, don't rush into things." 

"But I have to do this. I can't let the fans down."

"Don't worry about that, they'll understand."

"No, I need to keep on or I will just think about her way to much."

"If you're really sure then we can't stop you but think about it just a little more okay? You don't have to decide right now, sleep on it and tell us tomorrow", she said. 

"Okay." 

She walked back inside again. I could hear Black Veil Brides play Fallen Angels inside. I went back inside to watch them play. 

"Are you okay?" Eric asked when I came over to stand next to him.

I just nodded.

I closed my eyes and let the music fill every vein in my body. I then decided that I would continue the tour. I would make it through. I couldn't let myself to be all sad about Danielle, she wouldn't want me to. I had to stay strong for her. Do as she told me and continue to do what made me happy. It just felt so hard now that she wasn't here anymore. 

Even though I didn't see her for months after I left to join the band, that was a complete different missing. I knew back then that I would see her again. I knew that I could call her whenever I felt like. This time I couldn't. There was no one left to call. No one left to see. Because

 now was she gone for real and wouldn't come back. And it didn't matter how much I told myself that, I still couldn't believe it. 

"Hello? Alexandria?" CC said and waved his hand in front of my eyes.

"Huh?" I said.

"Welcome back to earth", he said and smiled.

"I zoned out didn't I?" I asked.

"Big time, I called your name for like five minutes."  

"Sorry", I said and grinned a little.

"Are you alright now? What happened on stage?" he asked.

"It just got too much, that's all." 

"Well you did a pretty awesome concert before that", he said and smiled.

"Thanks CC." 

"So should we head back to the hotel?"

"Yeah", I said and we started to walk towards the exit.