Run

Bad boys ain't no good...

Incognito

Trapped in my thoughts, I sat around my living room and downed a cup of purple drank. I wanted to numb the pain that I was feeling for the past weeks. I let go of my peace of mind which ate at me. I was experiencing some shit that I couldn't even explain. I was deprived from sleep and to tell the truth I wasn't into shit. I seriously had to cut the bullshit and get my mind right, the way I've been feeling has me completely off. Shit, I could easily get murdered at any moment because I can't fully focus. I'm messed up mentally and emotionally. My niggas even came through, set me aside and let me know that it ain't feel like I was there, even though I was. I was covered with anger, guilt, confusion, stress and from what I'm physically feeling, a broken heart....

My mind began to speak louder and my ears began ringing. I sighed out of frustration and rested my back against the couch. I shut my eyes and covered my ears as my thoughts grew louder.

I don't really know
I wonder what would I do
I mean, shit that's usually my everyday answer
Why am I always thinking?
What am I?
This thing called life is just a bitch

I opened my eyes and gazed at the ceiling. I took my hands from my ears and my thoughts became overbearing. My mind echoed inside my head and it was fucking me up. I couldn't even force my thoughts somewhere else. Questions were going non-stop and I couldn't control a damn thing. That lean was fucking me up in the worst way.

Sometimes I talk to myself
What is he looking at?
Think too much
Who is God?
A nigga just be trying to figure it out. If I die will I go to heaven?
I'm always thinking, my brain always gone in a blank
Is God my friend or does God love me?
I got to do better
What is this?

I sat up and stood to my feet and my thoughts carried on. I tried to ignore it but with every attempt it grew louder. It was enough to drive anybody insane and I was agitated. I walked down the dark hallway as my mind continued to cause an uproar against my temple. I wanted to fuck shit up, I wasn't in control of shit.

Niggas say when you come up, money changes everything
I got to do more
What is that?
No, fuck that, no it don't
More money more mother fucking problems
What's with this shit about we supposed to survive right?
Who put me here?
Where do I go next?
What's next?
That's something to think about
What's this shit really about?
How did I even get here?
Why you don't wanna to see a nigga eat?

I walked into my bedroom and walked over and flopped onto my bed and with that my shit got louder and it made my heart pound through my chest.

BAH BAH!

I sighed as I closed my eyes, reached for my pillow and covered my face. I tried my best to get a silent prayer in but I couldn't even do that. I was so bothered and the bad thing about it was that I couldn't do anything about it but listen.

My mind was running and my thoughts were what I was chasing...

Is that the police?
I be damned if a nigga kill me
You win some you lose some
Who is policing the police?
I heard this saying
What mark am I going to leave here on this earth?
Why are you mad?
Can you answer?
What the fuck you mad for?
What is life?
What is this?
Do you know?
What is this thing called life?...