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Closet Abomination

I've felt like my entire life is one big fat lie.

I feel like I have two identities ever since I can remember.

I'm feeling as if it was an abomination to keep it inside me for so long.

But it's that fact that actually scares me the most. So scared to even reveal it to my closest friends.

Not that I have close friends to begin with, but you get my drift.

As time goes by, it's getting harder and harder for me to hide what I actually feel.

I know in my heart that telling the truth is the right thing to do. But it's also telling me to be afraid to tell the truth, because quite honestly, I've seen the two ways that people handle the information that I have to tell.

One good and one horrible.

If only life weren't so cruel to even let the horrible possibility exist.

It's saddens me to the core as well to even let such fact be a reality in my life. I can't even begin to imagine what I would do if I were in that situation.

It must be hard for those who have to handle it, and they have my deepest sympathies.

But in the meantime, until I can upfront say it to anyone I know, from a person who's still in the closet, I would like to say thank you for everything diary, you've been a wonderful tool of letting out my emotions and deepest secrets that I couldn't fathom sharing to any living person.

a/n: Dedicated to my friend and to all closeted people out there