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Leap of Faith

I've been meaning to go through with this for a few months now, planning, researching, reading blogs, basically everything that I can get my hands on, I get it.

I know I'm far from taking off but I'm getting there. I've been watching, listening, taking notes, reading inspirational stories and quotes and anything to boost my chances to start and get going, I take it.

Honestly I've been feeling all out drained and down because of work and the jealousy feeling I get for a particular person.

Let's talk about work first, if I haven't mentioned it in the previous chapters let me say this now, I REALLY HATE IT. I have a deep loathing for the work itself, not so much for the people I work with, but still, I don't like my work more than I don't like the people I work with – well rather, just one person.

I don't want to get in detail with the latter, but the former, oh boy. You see, the course I took in college was my father's decision, hence, I just followed suit. I never liked his decision, which I never told my parents, but hey, I made it out. I'm a CPA now, and work at this crummy first job. There's just one thing I hate about it, which was reporting. I can make a report, a decent written report, but make me do oral report?

F---! I don't do well with oral reporting, if ever I do that, I'll just freaking read what's on the slides or on the paper. I can't do ad-ons or adlibs. No.

Human interaction is really my weakest link, because I don't know how to keep talking to people. I know how to talk, I know how to respond, but the way I do it, it just seems too uninteresting that even I don't approve what I've just said, that even my inner self is swaying his head in discontent.

As for the jealousy feeling I get from a certain person. Jealousy because he's been able to do some of the things that I wanted really early in his career, but it's not 100% jealousy, because at the same time I'm proud of what this person has achieved, and have never doubted that he wouldn't make it, sure I doubted that he would take a lot of time – which I may add, he proved me wrong, but I didn't doubt that he would reach his goals. He's an achiever, though a bit lousy of a friend sometimes – to me rather, and kind of boastful at times, but I know he means well. Now his boastfulness shrunk down to a very minimal state where he rarely boasts. I don't know if that makes sense.

Now that I've mentioned this person, I want to say that I've read something interesting that he shared just recently. It's something that a friend of his posted:

"Hardwork ALWAYS pays off in the long run with a little help from praying of course."

This quote reminded me of all my previous lessons these past few weeks, this particular quote circulated what I've been infusing myself of inspiration the few weeks that has passed. It was so timely that it made an impact on me to really take a big leap of faith.

It's decided, even though I already knew that I wanted to do it, but this quote gave me that extra push I needed. I'm going to start a gaming youtube channel, I know it'll take time to build, but I hope in a few years I'll be able to do things that I've always seen a gamer youtuber do. They've given me the biggest impact on my decision to start my own youtube channel, so I hope it all goes well from here on out.