Masquerade- Tom Riddle Fanfiction

The Pawn On Both Sides

      Wherever I stood, there was death. Wherever there was death, I had fled. In my tortured mind, Death was in the form of the despised demon who had done all of this to me. Fear. Fear was another chief suffering. It was like that unwanted friend who tailed behind you; screwing up your every move. Yes, I was afraid. 

    And do you know what the funny part is? I was the one who was behind all this. They had both died because of my actions. Do you want to know why I hadn't grieved? Because they were not my parents. Helena and Bruce Robins-- a perfect pair who had met at chance. To escape this treacherous life, I had bewitched them into thinking that I was their daughter. Not by choice; I was anchored by desperation-- I was ordered to, by the abhorrent man who had destroyed my entire life. I was the one who had killed them. Whether indirectly or directly; my enemy had slain them without a second thought-- perhaps all the more to break me. I was his slave and he amused himself by shattering me into pieces. I let it all happen. I was a coward. 

   Throughout the day, I had met and talked with Professor Dippet, who regarded me kindly and offered me his sincere sympathy. He had allowed me to take a leave of absence to mourn the death of my parents. Likewise, all of the professors pitied me; as well as the students. I had woken up one day, finding a bouquet of flowers and heartfelt letters. I wanted to burn them. I--the one who was responsible for their deaths, was now being rewarded. How cruel the world was; guilt never leaving me for a second. In the hallways, I had met Will once again. There was a moment of silence. Then, he had embraced me without a word. "I'm sorry," he said, his throat closing. I'm sorry. Did he know how much I wanted to say those words? But with that phrase, I felt his guilt and sorrow. 

  "I was such an idiot; such a bastard for thinking that Quidditch was worth more than a true friend," he said, "you were always there for me. I'm sorry." At that time, I had nodded my forgiveness; but it no longer mattered. My best friend was back, but those who were dead were long gone. The next day, before my departure, I noticed Tom Riddle leaning against a wall, his blue eyes regarding me. I suddenly remembered that he was an orphan; raised in a Muggle orphanage. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I had now become an orphan, in the eyes of the public. Another similarity, perhaps, if it wasn't shredded in lies. 

   As I boarded the Hogwarts Express, with a few other students who were in family emergencies, I watched as Hogwarts became a speck in the distance before disappearing in a canopy of trees. I was no longer in any state of mind to observe. Everything seemed like one slow motion picture; moving in black and white. I remember wearing a black dress; standing in front of the gleaming marble coffins that encased the once living bodies. Several of the family members were sobbing; their tears like arrows into my flesh and bone. My cowardice had caused their grief. Silently, I laid the rose on the casket-- a long stemmed red flower that was plucked of thorns. It was pristine and perfect; a final image of peace before I left. I could stay here, no longer. I left the family in their grief. 

    The nearby orphanage agreed to accept me for the summer; even offering a tour, but I refused politely. The day was drab and cold; with rain pattering on the cobblestones of London. It was then that I had felt it; a searing pain; right on my ring finger. I had to stop myself from crying out. Dread made my blood run cold as I comprehended its meaning. Hurriedly, I ran towards a telephone booth. I shut the door behind me, making sure that no one was in range. I could not use my powers outside of the Wizarding World. I tossed the ring into the air; the band of gold barely glinting before the same woman in the last message materialized-- the leader Supreme.