Masquerade- Tom Riddle Fanfiction

Silver Stars

   I didn't shatter. I allowed myself to splinter gradually, feeling like thin spun glass. They were dead. They were all dead. Viktor, Boris, Blagun.

   I closed my eyes, hearing the names repeating over and over again. Viktor, Boris, Blagun.

  Viktor, Boris, Blagun.

   The Astronomy Tower was empty and dark; the stars glinting coldly. I stood by the stone wall, watching as a comet sailed across the sky before disappearing. Rain started to pour. I didn't scream, but felt my heart tearing apart by some huge monster. I couldn't contain myself. I slammed my fist against the rock; pain making tears drop from my eyes, but the sharp bruises and damaged skin brought me back to life.

  Viktor, Boris, Blagun.

    I clenched my head, crying silently; tears not pouring but the wounded yelp of a dying animal reached my ears. They were all dead. No.

   Please.

   I could have punched the wall over and over again, anything to distract me from this one, large pain in my chest; as I sank down silently. I forced myself not to cry. I don't know how long I sat there-- out in the pouring rain; every drop like the blood shed by Grindelwald. Revenge. I wanted revenge. But I felt too much pain; I didn't want to stand again.

    "You are a coward," I told myself, but my feet stayed on the ground, as I buried my head in my arms; letting the rain drift with my tears-- perhaps no one would know the difference. Minutes, hours ticked by without any meaning.

    I was guilty.

   I shouldn't have sent them off.

   I let out a sob, my throat feeling as if some demon had possessed it and ripped it apart. "Viktor....Boris...Blagun," I tried to whisper to myself, but the sound was terrible as I clutched at my heart; shaking violently, "I'm sorry." The words were shameful as I clutched at my head.

    I drifted away.

   And then the rain stopped pouring on my drenched skin. I felt something drape around my shoulders, something heavy, but I didn't look up. I knew who it was. "Leave me alone," my voice shook, trying to sound furious, "go away."

     But the rain still poured around me. I looked up finally. He was standing next to me; his wand shielding us both from the rain with his spell; his jacket clasped around my body. His face was impassive. He finally spoke, "You are going to catch a cold. You are not helping your Durmstrang friends any better in this state. Come back inside." He would never say these words; if anyone but him said this, it would be believable.

   Fury flared inside of me. How dare he pretend to understand. "Since when did you care?" my anger resurfaced, everything wrong in the world blowing up in front of my eyes, "tell me!" my voice nearly reached to a scream, "how can you possibly know what I'm going through?! I am sick! I am sick of all of this! Stop pretending to care, stop pretending to understand! I DON'T CARE!" I flung the words at him with all the hatred I could muster; my chest heaving, but he didn't move. He knew that I was right. He never cared about any of this; he couldn't even feel love.

   "Wrong," he said, "you do care. You care so much that it hurts--" I remembered those exact words that I had said to him, "and you want someone to talk to; just to give you a moment of sanity."

   I let out a derisive laugh. "And why would that person be you?" I asked mockingly, "because you understand me better than anyone?"