The Love Cure

Chapter One

I sit on the edge of my bed, gripping my comforter in a death grip. I knew that some days were worse then others, that some days will be worse then others, but I didn't know that every time I so much as blinked, closed my eyes for even the tiniest of moments, that I would be flashed back to the hideous place that I wanted to forget. That I needed to forget.

They dont know that nightmares plague me. That every morning, I wake up at the same time, 5:30 a.m., the same time that they would always come down, give us our food for day, slap Daddy around a little bit, maybe do worse things to him, before they left again.

I remember as a kid I would lay there, silently. I knew that what they were doing to Daddy wasn't right. That he didn't deserve the pain that everyone put him in. I remember how Daddy would always act so strong around us, keep us safe, but then at night I would see his facade drop, his face turn to grief, tears prickling his eyes. I don't think he even knew that some nights he sobbed loud enough to wake us, because even though we were only kids, we knew that Daddy was being hurt by bad people, we knew daddy had the right to wake us up with his crying at night.

I still remember the night before we left. Daddy was running around trying to find Charles. As the alpha's  son, he got away with a lot more then the rest of us did, but when they were gone, some of the warriors came down, and the beta, I hated the beta, and he hated us, Charles, Aria, and me. We weren't his, and he hated anything or anyone that he thought took Daddy away from him. He came to hurt us, he knew he would have to come when Daddy was gone. He knew he wouldn't ever again have the chance to hurt us, kill us maybe. So he took his chance. He hit me a few times, but then Daddy came and took my place. They beat him, then they raped him. I didn't know what rape was back then, but now that I do, and I remember all the times I would see them do that to Daddy. All the times I wonders why they would stick....that, into him.

None of the others remember, besides Daddy of course. I don't know why I was the lucky one to remember, but I would do about anything to forget.

I finally let go of my death grip on the comforter. Instead I let my hands rake through my messy brown hair. Most days now I haven't put much effort into my physical appearances. I don't brush my hair, I wear sweat pants and sweatshirts every day, but somehow I'm still cold on the inside, still waiting to be thawed out, still waiting for that special moment when everything is just....

Warm.

Most people associate a lot of things with love. Happiness, content, joy, but not me. I know that when I have found love, that I will feel these things, but what I really want out of my love, is to be warm. I want my heart to thaw out, I want to be able to run around with no clothing, and still be warm.

I want to be able to love, to feel warmth.

It's hard though, imagining that this is going to happen. I know my family is not against gay mating, obviously since my eldest brother and parents are both gay, but I still feel uncomfortable with telling them who I really am. I don't care about gender, I care about the one person who is suppose to be my mate. I want that love.

And it would really help if I could have it now.