Roommates & Soulmates

Ch29: Jace's Grief

She'd asked him to stay. Jace still couldn't believe it. A man who only knew her because of Jace and who happened to look almost exactly like Jace had tried to force himself on her! But despite this, Clary wanted him to stay with her. Jace couldn't quite explain how he was feeling right now. The world was brighter, the air sweeter. Clary wanted him to stay. Jace watched her sleep and though the view wasn't eventful, Jace wasn't sure when he had ever enjoyed a view more. Her brilliant red hair was spread out on the pillow; she had tossed it back out of her way before falling asleep. The covers Jace had laid over her were tucked up under her chin. Her beautiful eyes were closed and her face was somehow more elegant in sleep.

Jace remembered what it was like to hold her, to have her cling to him as he carried her to bed. It was a warm glowing feeling in his chest. Clary was what mattered right now and if she wanted him here, here is where he would stay. Jace's phone vibrated and he picked it up automatically. He had three missed texts from Alec asking if he'd found Clary yet, explaining that Magnus was worried.

'Is Clary okay?' read Alec's most recent text. 'Did you find her?'

'Clary's okay,' Jace replied. 'She is sleeping.'

'And you know this how?' Alec asked. Jace wasn't sure if Clary wanted him to tell anyone. It felt wrong somehow to explain that had happened to Alec without asking Clary first.

'I just do,' Jace replied. 'Everything's fine.' Thanks for telling me to look for her.' Jace had to add the thank you as the thought of what would have happened if Alec hadn't asked him to look for Cary still twisted his insides. It also made him want to punch something, preferably Sebastian.

'Please tell her I'm sorry!' Alec texted.

'Sure,' Jace texted back, before turning the volume off on his phone and setting it aside.

He returned to gazing at the beautiful sleeping girl before him. When had she become the center of his world? Was there an exact moment somewhere between then and now when this had happened? Jace remembered the first time he'd noticed her, or rather she'd noticed him. He recalled the first time she had entered his thoughts without him realizing it. He shook his head thinking of all the time he'd wasted denying even to himself what he really wanted. He'd wasted so much energy trying to get over her, trying to rid himself of the strange feelings he didn't understand. Looking back now he knew Sebastian had played a key role in his denial. How had Jace never seen through Sebastian before now? Why had it taken such a horrible thing to make him realize who Sebastian really was? Jace was ashamed of himself, ashamed of what he had let Sebastian get away with over the years, and ashamed of how long he'd been loyal to such a person. Clary rolled over in her sleep and Jace tried to bring his thoughts back to her. He would deal with Sebastian later.

He focused on the slight noise of Clary's even breathing, letting his mind calm with the rhythm.

"I want to check on Clary," a voice whispered. "Then we can go."

"Alright," the other voice whispered back. "But don't wake her up!"

Jace's eyes were closed but he was starting to become more aware of his body, sitting in a chair with his head lolling to the side. He must have fallen asleep watching over Clary. Jace opened his eyes and saw two women staring at him. He recognized them both: one was Alec's cousin, the other was someone Jace had often seen with Clary but he couldn't remember the woman's name.

"Jace," Aline whispered. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Clary," Jace said by way of answer. He wasn't feeling particularly rested, having fallen asleep in a rigid desk chair.

"Yes, I can see that," Aline replied as if talking to a child. "But why are you here?"

"Clary asked me to stay," Jace said his mind slowly clearing from the haze of sleep.