Ch132: Maia's Regret

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Maia watched Jordan leave, feeling like the worst person in the world. She knew she should have stopped herself before things got out of hand. She knew she should have understood her own heart sooner. She knew it was her fault, and she knew what she needed to do next.

After a shower, Maia collected her purse and headed out. As she walked, her mind went round and round everything that had happened, like the most depressing broken record of all time. She couldn't blame this on alcohol or intoxication. She had no excuses or rationalizations to cling to. She'd finally told him the truth and he'd responded by... by what? Cheating on his girlfriend with her? Or was it kinder to say he'd responded by pulling her close? Either way, Maia had turned the kindest, sweetest person in the whole world into a cheater, and she hated herself for it.

What she couldn't hate or regret was touching him again. It had been wonderful to be held in his arms once more. The extreme feeling had made it very obvious that she'd missed him far more than she'd realized.

Oh, why had she been so stupid!? She regretted losing him more in this moment than she ever had before. If she'd only been aware of her own emotions before it was too late. If she'd dug down deep during even one of those moments when he'd worn his heart bravely on his sleeve, then maybe things would be different.

Then again, maybe she was thinking about this from the bias point of view of right now. After all, hindsight is 20/20. Who she was then could not have realized what she knew now. She could remember how she'd felt then, how cautious she'd been towards him. Then the moment he's lost to her all these feelings come flooding back. Shouldn't this just prove that it wasn't a good idea? Maybe what made their fights so intense was also what gave them such bright sparks. A self destructive combination to say the least.

By the time she reached the store, Maia was determined to pretend the whole thing never happened unless Jordan brought it up first, and from the way he'd ran off, she didn't think he would. It was best to just move forward, and not focus on her moment of weakness. She had no right to expect him to end his relationship for her and she wasn't about to ask. In order to put this behind her she had one more thing to do. Walking forward, Maia took a deep breath and then asked the lady behind the Pharmacy counter for Plan B.

"Have you ever used a morning after pill before?" she asked.

"No," Maia replied.

"Okay wait here," she said. "You will need to talk to a Pharmacist."

So Maia waited, and then she was treated to education about the drug she was purchasing. The side effects didn't sound fun at all, but she had no choice. The deed was done, and now it was time to face the music. After paying far too much for one tiny pill, Maia stuffed the rather large box into her purse and turned to leave. Then she stopped cold as she recognized someone she knew. Panicking, Maia turned and ducked into an aisle, hoping he hadn't seen her.

"Oh, hey Maia!"

Her hope died quickly as she heard his voice calling after her. Plastering a smile on her face, Maia turned to face him.

"I thought that was you," he said with a genuine smile, unlike the fake mess on her face.

"You caught me," Maia said, trying to keep her voice light.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were hiding from me," he replied, still teasing her.

"But you know better than that," Maia teased back, trying to be normal.

"Of course, boss," he laughed. "I know you are definitely hiding from someone. It just can't possibly be me since I'm awesome." Maia couldn't help laughing. 'Boss' was a nickname he'd started using for her the day she'd met him. Jamie was the newest hire at the grocery store where Maia worked, and even though he was over a foot taller than her and ten times stronger, she's been asked to train him. Jamie had thought this so funny he'd taken to calling her boss, even after his training ended. There was something about a strong, super tall guy calling out 'boss' and having a tiny little woman answer, that Jamie thought was hilarious. Maia had never really thought of herself as tiny until she's stood next to him.

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