Its Saturday night and I am at Amanda's house, getting ready. Turns out its not a huge concert or anything, it's just a small little place. Not that small , but it feels small compared to the other venues they have been.
God! Why do I even care?
I cant believe I said yes to going. This is just asking for trouble. Well, I guess that just because I broke up with my boyfriend, doesnt mean that I can't listen to my favorite band, right?
But he is the bloody lead singer! How do I avoid that?
I am just going to see Neil, Brad, and Barry. That's it.
I haven't cried since......I think it was since I last saw Adam, that one single tear.
One tear.
He isn't even worth a tear. Suddenly, Amanda crashed into my train of thought.
"Hey, Ariel. Are you okay?"
"Ya....I am." I can't lie to her. She is my best friend- my best friend that has nothing to do with me past life.
I want to tell her.
Remember what keeping secrets did last time?
I have to.
"Actually, no I'm not okay."
"What happened?"
"Well looooong story...."
"Well, we have two hours before Kaylynn comes."
"Okay, so, last year......." and I told her everything. Everything.
She didn't believe me at first, but then I showed her my guitar, witch says, 'To: Ariel. From:Adam(Babe)
But that wasn't enough to prove it, so I showed her my song book.
"I Garentee that you will here one of these songs tonight. I helped write them."
"I am sorry Ariel. We don't have to go."
"No, it's okay. I want to go see the rest of the band. Just try to keep Adam away from me."
"You got it."
While we waited for Kaylynn to come, Amanda Put in a Seether CD. It was nice to get my mind off of him, only to see him once more.
---------------------------------------------
Aveline had come just as the song Fake It came on.
"Damnit!" we said together.
"That was a good one!"
"Whatever, are you guys coming or what? It's starting soon." Said Aveline.
"Ya." I grabbed my stuff and got into her car, and off we were on my way to terror.
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When we got to the parking lot of the venue, I had flashbacks of one night when they played in Minnesota. It was small, like this one. He was holding my hand to make we don't lose each other. Now, he is probably with some other bitch, telling her the same things he told me. You can never tell.
"Okay, so now we have to find Aveline. She said she would either be at the seats, or backstage." please be at the seats please be at the seats.
"Where are the seats?"
"Front row tickets babe!" Said Kaylynn.
Are. You. Fucking. Serious.
"Okay, so I guess we will check the seats first?"
"Ya."
When we looked, she wasn't at the seats, so we went backstage.
When we first went back there, they freaked out. But not me.
I started to look for Brad. And I found him. But he looked busy. Eh, who cares.
I walked up to him.
"Um, excuse me, will you sign this?" I said.
"Uh ya sure." he said while turning around."Ariel! It's been like three weeks!" we enbraced each other in a sad, yet warm, hug.
"How's everything?"
"Well, it could definitely be better. Adam has been going through some things. And he has been acting VERY different. But other than that the only other problem is that you're not here!"
"Aw, thanks. Don't let Adam know I am here."
"I won't. And I dont think he will notice you either. He has been out of it."
"Okay, take care of him."
"I will, and I will let Barry and Neil know your here so they can look for you."
"Thanks again, Brad."
After that, Amanda found me and told me that they saw Adam, and Aveline was all over him.
She said he didn't look very.....healthy.
It worried me a bit, but I guess I will soon find out.
We got to our seats, right at the front. Of course.
And Adam walked onto the stage.
"Well hello! Are you fuckers ready to rock?!"
He had dyed his hair black, it didn't look bad on him.
"I am glad you all could make it tonight!" Amanda was right. He didn't look health at all. And when I say healthy, I mean sober. He didn't look sober of anything.
They sang their usual songs, until I heard a different one.
"This song, this song is a very relatable song for most of you I am sure."he announced. He sounded wasted-almost."It's about when you get out of a relationship with someone, and you just gotta fucking get over it!" everybody cheered except me.
That song is about me.
He started to sing.
"Don't know what's going on,
Don't know what went wrong!
Feels like a hundred years I,
Still can't believe your gone."
But when he got to the chorus....that's when I almost cried. I felt like dying.
"I FEEL SO, MUCH BETTER!
NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE FOREVER!
I TELL MYSELF, THAT I DON'T
MISS YOU AT ALL.
IM NOT LYING, DENYING,
THAT I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER...." he paused, his once beautiful blue eyes scanning the crowd and stopping once he reached someone behind me. I turned around to find just some screaming fans when he continued,Now, that you're gone forever." and then Brad took the mic. Because Adam kneeled down, and was hunched over. Nearly crying.
"That's it for tonight people, thanks for coming out!"
Adam left without saying a word to anyone.
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~OnMyOwnTilItsAllOver
