Torn // Emilio Martinez

Chapter 33

Bella

I woke up the next morning, my head pounding. I groaned and let my eyes adjust and realized I wasn't in my room. I felt confused and sat up quickly and looked around, realizing this wasn't my room. I looked to my left and noticed the back of a head of someone I was very familiar with. I didn't remember anything from last night, I had a lot to drink to try and drown the sadness I was feeling. When he turned around, it wasn't Emilio, but Ivan. I realized I was not wearing any clothes, and noticed them sprawled out across the floor next to the bed we were both lying on. I gasped and reach over and pulled my shirt from the night before over my head, looking over at Ivan who was lying there, sleeping peacefully.

What the fuck did I do?

I didn't know whether I should leave or wake him up. I was confused and lost and had no idea how to handle this. I stood up off the bed and heard rustling in the bed. I turned around and Ivan rolled over, his eyes opening slightly and landing on me.
"Ivan?" I whispered, looking down at him and feeling like I was about to throw up.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Do you remember anything from last night?" I asked him nervously. He told me he didn't, that he remembered getting home but that was all. I held up my panties that I had not yet put back on and his eyes widened when they landed on them.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Oh my god, no way," he panicked, flipping the covers over and standing up.
"Ivan how did you let me do this? I'm in love with your fucking brother, I can't believe this," I freaked out, pacing around the room. Ivan put his hand on my shoulder to stop me and told me that it was just a drunk mistake, and that it was nothing.
"Ivan how could we do this to Emilio?" I asked, running my hands through my hair. I sat on the edge of bed to stabilize myself and burst into tears, uncontrollable sobs escaping me. Ivan sat next to me and rubbed my back, telling me he was sorry and everything was going to be okay.

"Everything keeps going wrong," I cried, sniffling and trying to wipe as many tears as I could with the back of my hand. "I just keep fucking everything up and making it worse. I can't forgive myself for this, I can't believe it."
As we sat there together, memories were coming back in blurry waves. Coming home, being carried, making out, and then...
I can't believe myself. I was a slut, I was disgusting and horrible. I had sex with my ex boyfriend's twin brother because I missed him. No one does that, it was unforgivable.

After talking to Ivan for a bit longer and getting to calm down, I rushed out of the room and into my own, where I began taking stuff and throwing it onto the bed and the floor, screaming. I didn't know if anyone else was home but I didn't care. My door was locked, no one could get in unless I let them, and I wouldn't have even been able to hear the sound of a knock. I grabbed a suitcase and started shoving stuff into it, tears streaming down my face. I really messed up this time, and I don't think I could ever fix it. How was I supposed to look at Ivan or Emilio anymore? I could ruin everything, I can't do that. Everything would be better with me gone. I grabbed my stuff and ran downstairs, putting it at the front door. I called Alissa to tell her I was leaving, and as she panicked and interrogated me I told her I would explain later and hung up. 
I ran back upstairs into Lucas and Marcus' room, but it was empty. I called them and told them the same thing I told Alissa, earning panicked voices and a million of questions.
"We'll come," Lucas said.
"I'm getting on the next plane home, just meet me there," I told them. Eventually they agreed, and I was off to the airport on my own. No goodbyes, nothing. Just leaving. I had to get out of here, I was like a ticking time bomb just waiting to set everything off and ruin everything.

I couldn't hurt anymore people, I had done too much.
"Bella!" I heard someone call as I was walking down the walkway. I turned and saw Ivan, looking at me with red eyes and a solemn look on his face.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Home."
"But this is home," he said sadly. I shook my head as tears began to flow down my face.
"Not if I keep ruining everything. I'm so sorry for all of this Ivan, tell Emilio I love him. I'll see you soon."

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Here's a short little update since a few of you asked! I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!!

-Rachael