Lost in a Reverie 18+ Only (Book 1 of Lastor Series) ['23/'24 EDIT]

Chapter 12

Rick was trying not to flip out. He demanded we turn around and go home but I just shrugged him off, pressing my foot on the accelerator and letting the roof cover us as we entered the figurative gates to New York. The most damned place I've ever been to. Full of scums and suffering that not even their big fat smiles could hide it.

"This is extremely irresponsible," he was muttering.

"Ugh. Shut up. You sound like my brother. I can't have someone I've fucked remind me of my brother. It's disgusting," I spat in distaste.

No wonder the two of them were friends. They were as uptight and square.

"I should have driven," he said, almost as if cursing at himself.

"You should have stayed away from me."

"Why do you keep saying that?" he snapped in apparent annoyance.

I shrugged. "Because you should have. I'm not the type of person you should care about. It's safer not to give a shit about me, it's what I do."

"God, you just spout bullshit on and on, huh?"

I frowned, glancing at him. "It's not bullshit. Why would I encourage you to care for me when I know I'll end up hurting you?"

He sighed, shaking his head. "This whole enigmatic crap is becoming redundant, Angel. Why don't you just cut the nonsense and talk like a normal person?"

I laughed lightly. "I'm the farthest thing from normal, babe. That's the only thing I can't fake."

"What is wrong with you? Seriously, because I'm just trying to wrap my head around you and every word that comes out of your mouth is just... nonsensical."

"There are a lot of wrongs in me and I assure you, you don't want to see the list. As for wrapping your head around me..." I paused, turning my head to look at him and smiling. "Good luck with that cuz I don't even know half of myself and I've given up on trying to figure it out a long time ago."

His brows creased and I reached over to flick my finger against his forehead, chuckling as he blinked repeatedly.

"You're so..." He paused, looking at me intently. "... weird."

"Weird? Seriously?" I snorted at the wholesome adjective but he seemed to stand by it. "Maybe I am. Most people think I'm a little off the rails. I mean, I wouldn't doubt it if I was dropped on the head when I was an infant."

"You probably were."

I snickered, shaking my head in amusement as I drove. "I probably got hit in the head far too many times or something."

"Or it's the result of long term drug abuse."

My face fell, my amusement disappearing instantly. "That was rude."

"But true."

I pursed my lips, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. "You judge me because you think you know me. You don't. Why would someone willingly destroy themselves for the sake of it?" I said, my voice quiet as I focused on the road. "I don't like it. I hate it so much, being like this, but I have no other choice."

"You do have a choice, you're just not letting yourself consider it," he replied with gentle insistence. "You talked about freedom and how much of a pity it is that people deprive themselves of it. The irony of the matter is, you've locked yourself up in a fantasy where you think you can do anything when in reality, all you do is run away. That's not living. That's not freedom. That's one massive shithole that you can't get out of because you're afraid of living in reality where not everything can be casted away with a line of cocaine."