Lost in a Reverie 18+ Only (Book 1 of Lastor Series) ['23/'24 EDIT]

Chapter 44

Soixante-dix-sept
Soixante-dix-huit
Soixante dix-neuf
Quatre-vingts
Quatre-vingt-un
Quatre-vingt-deux
Quatre-vingt-trois
Quatre-vingt-quatre

I jumped up to the surface, gasping for air.

The chilling night breeze prickled against my skin while the cool ocean water calmed the unbearable rage inside me. I closed my eyes, leaning back and letting myself float along the water as the waves waded back and forth the shore.

I've spent the past few hours in the water and I've probably tried to drown myself twenty times while making out the constellations on the sky in between pauses.

Nobody tried to follow me. Or even asked where I was going when I walked out of the suite after spending hours freezing in the shower. They probably didn't give a shit. They just felt responsible for me. Pitied me.

Stop thinking.

Thinking always made shit worse. I didn't want more of this crap. This was driving me insane enough.

I opened my eyes, gazing up at the dark night sky, the moon its gloomy mistress.

"Why did you give me that bracelet?" I called out into the night.

The figure in the distance stopped its failed attempt at being inconspicuous and got up from the lounge chair it has been using as post for the past hour.

I already noticed his presence before I even spared him a glance. I wasn't sure at first. He was far enough that I couldn't see anything but his shadowy figure. But somehow, I just knew.

"Do you really wanna know?" Rick asked as he casually strolled over to the shore.

"I don't ask questions I don't want the answers to," I said, keeping my gaze focused on the sky.

"That night you dragged me to New York, you talked about the moon. I remember just listening to you and thinking how you were exactly like the moon," he began, slowly coming towards me. "When I first saw you, I was captivated with the way you lit up the room and how you were so unaware of the effect you had on people that you didn't even notice the eyes staring at you. It was as if you had your own world that no one can ever enter. It made me want to know you. To know everything about you and find a way inside your world," he was saying, taking one step after another. Closer and closer to me. "When I finally met you, I was caught by the darkness that surrounded you. It was there in your eyes. You were filled with it. So much mystery hidden in the darkness. I didn't get how someone so beautiful would hide in the dark so much. It was like you were afraid of being seen."

He reached me and I tried to swim away but he caught my arm, pulling me closer and grasping my chin, forcing me to look at him. In the dead of night, with the moon looking down at us, he shined. He was the only one I could see and from the look in his eyes, I knew it was the same for him. Everything became non-existent.

"On the surface, you're so perfect. From your stunning beauty to your daunting brilliance. Every person who looks at you is stricken with envy and desire, and everyone who knows your name would think twice to look you in the eye. You've created an intimidating persona but that's all it is. A persona. The mere surface. I didn't understand why at first, but now I do. It's because you're so terrified of people seeing you for who you really are," he murmured, his eyes seemingly trying to take in every detail of my face. "You think if they knew how damaged you are inside, they'll reject you. So you don't give them that chance. You shut them out and push away anyone who tries to see beyond your disguise but for some reason that you can't seem to understand, people keep coming. As if they can't resist you. They're willing to give you everything and bear anything just for a glimpse of the girl who's been playing this Angel Lastor character but you never allow them to. Not out of self-preservation. No, it's mercy. You break their hearts in order to spare them the excruciating pain of knowing the real you. The angry, cruel, destructive, and painfully broken Angel."