Lost in a Reverie 18+ Only (Book 1 of Lastor Series) ['23/'24 EDIT]

Chapter 31

I awoke to the sound of myself screaming and I sprung up in a jolt, breathless, my head running a mile as it offered me glimpses of my father. Beating me. Drowning me. Torturing me.

I let out another scream as I hit my head, wanting to break my skull open to make the wretched images go away.

"Angel..." a voice called and then I felt something touch me.

I jumped, crawling away from it in fear of still being stuck in that awful memory.

"It's me. It's Rick."

I blinked my eyes repeatedly as his face registered in my mind. I groaned, dropping my head and fisting at my hair as pain drummed in my skull.

"I'll get you some water."

"No. Leave me alone," I bit out, hating that he had witnessed me in such a state again.

"I'm not doing that."

I groaned in frustration, throwing the duvet aside and heading for the bathroom. I entered the shower stall, letting the harsh jets of water rain down on me and I sighed as the freezing temperature gradually calmed me enough to breathe.

We're okay. It's just a dream. We're okay.

I slid to the floor, the clothes I had no recollection of putting on clinging to my body but I didn't care. I tilted my head back as I leaned against the wall, the harsh stream of water piercing my skin but it felt better than the agony clawing its way out of me.

When I opened my eyes, I caught sight of Rick standing by the door, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face. I couldn't read what he was thinking as he watched me pathetically fight through the pain. I was past caring. He can go fuck himself.

"Enjoying the show, sweetheart?" I chuckled humorlessly, pushing my hair off my face. "Isn't it lovely to wake up in the morning to the sound of me screaming the house down? It's the most effective alarm clock there is. Jude can vouch for that."

I laughed, banging the back of my head against the wall as I closed my eyes again.

"Feel free to leave. I don't care."

"Here."

I opened my eyes, seeing him standing outside the shower stall, holding out a towel.

"You shouldn't stay too long in there or you'll get sick."

For some unknown reason, anger ripped right through me.
I sprung to my feet, shoving him away from me.

"What the fuck do you want from me, huh?!" I snapped, seething with fury. "What? Are the fucks too good to walk away from? Or is it the perks? What! Fucking tell me! Why can't you just fuck off and go back to your perfect life! Tell me! What. Do. You. Want!" I shrieked hysterilly as I shoved him again and again but he would not fucking move.

He started slapping himself. "Is this what you need, huh?" he screamed at me as he slapped his face repeatedly. "Go ahead! Hit me!"

"Fuck you!" I screamed back at him, shoving him.

He caught my wrists, pushing me up against the wall.

"You can do anything with me. Let out everything on me. I'll take it all and more, because I care about you and I'd rather be your punching bag than watch you drown on your own. So use me all you want. You can even hate me if it makes it easier, but don't ever belittle my intentions. I don't fucking deserve it," he snarled, pushing himself off me. "I'll go get us breakfast."

He left the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I screwed my eyes shut, taking in a ragged breath as I gritted my teeth, holding myself back from breaking into a fit of screams and pathetic sobs.