Lost in a Reverie 18+ Only (Book 1 of Lastor Series) ['23/'24 EDIT]

Chapter 28

I stepped out of the bathroom, my guise perfectly in control and my bearings intact. I found Rick sitting on the balustrade of the balcony, looking out to the sky, a pensive look in his face.

As the bright moon shined down on him, I became more aware of this man's beauty. The only kind of beauty I envied in people. Untainted.

"Why are you still here?" I asked as I approached the bed.

He didn't turn. I wasn't even sure if he heard but he did because he spoke.

"I didn't want to go back to the party," he said quietly. "I'll just wait here till it ends."

"Suit yourself. I'm leaving anyway."

"Your brother said you can't sneak out."

A small smile played on my lips as I picked up the dress hanging by the armoire and slipped it on.

"My brother often tells me what to do but he rarely expects me to listen."

"I think it's admirable, the bond you two share. He doesn't expect anything from you and in return, you expect nothing from him but still, neither of you would hesitate to lay your life down for each other."

"It's tragic, really, because death is what will be the end of us. If he dies, I won't have any other reason to keep on living since he's the only reason why I'm holding on. If I die, then he'll suffer a long miserable life filled with guilt because he couldn't save the sister he's lost a long time ago. We're both suffering, the only thing that differs us from one another is that we don't share the same pain."

"You love him so much that you'd live for him despite the pain it causes you to keep doing so."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I'm not bearing the pain of living out of some misguided love for him. I'm alive because my life is his," I said, pulling on my boots. "I was raised with the sole purpose of being Jude's right hand. Someone who will always be by his side to support him and serve him with absolute loyalty. Everything I've achieved is for Jude's benefit, not mine. If I kill myself, I will not only be the cause of our empire's demise, but I will also destroy Jude's future and considering my brother's deep affection towards me, he'll probably kill himself too. So unless he grants me permission to end my pitiful life, I'm stuck in this hell for as long as he sees fit."

I got to my feet, opening the armoire and taking out my coat. I stood in front of the full length mirror for a moment, looking at myself, catching Rick's gaze through his reflection as he stood across the bed.

"I think it's sad that you can speak of death as if it's nothing," he said solemnly.

I smiled, sliding a tube of red lipstick across my lips. "Death is far from nothing to me. Death is the only thing that I've ever wanted all my life. I've wanted it for so long and the longer it's been, the more I want it."

He shook his head, eyeing me for a moment. "Where are you going?"

"Some place filled with scums and suffering."

"Cut the crap for a second."

I walked towards the balcony, hiking myself up on the balustrade.

"I'm meeting a friend. I'd ask you to come but I don't suppose it's your scene. You'd lose your wits the second you step into the land of broken souls."

I swung my legs over the balustrade, looking back at him as I stood on the edge of the balcony.

"Feel free to come though. I find myself hating being alone these days. It makes me want to die more."

I shifted, crouching to get a good grip of the balustrade and without a second thought, I jumped the distance of the high ground and landed less than gracefully on the bushes.