Lost in a Reverie 18+ Only (Book 1 of Lastor Series) ['23/'24 EDIT]

Chapter 54: Frederick

I sat outside on my balcony, pressing call on her number for the millionth time it seemed. And like the past two weeks, I waited. And waited. And waited. And then: "If this is some life or death shit, come find me. Otherwise, just text me, you dumb cunt."

I chuckled weakly, as if I hadn't heard her say those words over and over for the past two weeks. It was the only thing that's been keeping me sane these days.

"Hey," I began. "Just in case you didn't get any of the million messages I've left, here's another one." I paused, laughing at how pathetic I was. "I heard you got engaged. Wow. Way to blindside a guy. God, hearing about it really sucked. It still does actually, but you know what sucks even worse? I don't get it. I mean, was any of it real or was it just a really elaborate prank? Because for a while there, I thought we were heading somewhere." I sighed, laughing humorlessly. "You know what? I don't even care anymore. I can't. It's killing me, caring and waiting for you. If this is really what you want then I'll let you go. Just tell me you're okay, Angel. Just give me that. I need to know that you're going to be okay without me because despite everything, I still care about you. Tell me you're okay and I'll let you go, baby."

I ended the message there before I started going on a hopeless spiel of begging. I still had enough dignity left in me not to do that. Again.

I went back inside and like the past two weeks, I let myself get lost in my mundane routine of working through the day and drinking through the night.

My first day back at the hospital, I found out Stella had resigned. When I called her to see if she was okay, she said Angel had sent people to move her to a house outside the city and was basically being held hostage for her supposed safety since her identity as Jude's woman was revealed. I was only a little jealous, but mostly because she didn't have to deal with being the subject of workplace gossip.

Most of my colleagues were civil towards me, but when I had my back to them, they'd go on whispering. I haven't even been invited to go out for drinks since I came back. It was like high school and I was a loner who sat alone in the cafeteria. I should be glad though. They weren't being overly friendly just because they saw me sucking faces with Angel Lastor on the tabloids. I half-expected that but instead, they avoided me like the black plague. Which wasn't any better.

I was tempted to hand in my resignation just to end it already, but I decided not to care anymore. It was easier not to care, especially when I knew they probably heard about the latest gossip for the week. The Angel Lastor and Andre Gustav engagement, bringing together one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in the world through their marriage.

It's been all over the news, pictures of Andre kneeling before her and them kissing plastered on every magazine and paper, forever ruining the Sunday crossword for me. It almost felt like I was being punished for ever thinking I had a shot with someone like her.

After clocking out of my shift at midnight, I spent the rest of the night watching National Geographic on TV, pounding one beer after another while eating last night's left over pizza since I had yet to buy groceries.

I had been working to the drain, pulling off sixteen hour shifts just to keep myself occupied. I even got my weekends filled. By two am, I was close to passing out and somewhere along the way, I did, waking up with a start, inebriated and half-asleep. Still, I was acutely aware of someone sitting on my stomach.

I blinked repeatedly, a sudden surge of adrenaline filling me, but as the face registered in my half-conscious state, I relaxed.

"Angel?" I whispered, not sure if I was dreaming or not. I wouldn't be surprised if I was, she's been haunting my dreams lately.