Shatter me ~A Multi-ship Tragedy~

Decieved

Levi's POV

It was another one of those nights where I could barely sleep. It was killing me and I didn't know why. I had took the sleeping pills but I still found myself up.

For some reason Eren was on my mind. The things he had said to me even though he was suppose to be the one in tragic pain.

However, I found myself crying on the side of the street after that clash.

I wasn't badly bruised or anything (not like he can touch me) but I was emotionally in pain.

How could he just do that to my little sister and have no feelings for her? Then again why did I tell her news she could not bare without thinking of her own anyway?

In a way, Eren was right; it was mostly my fault.

I wasn't even sure if I could bare the pain either.

So much things I kept bottled up inside me and forcing myself to do things for the better of myself and Mikasa.

It made my chest clench up together.

I've been thinking about it for a while. A way to get out of here. But I didn't know how.

I also did not want to leave. I'm suppose to fulfil my sister's needs that she did not get to do, even my own, but that all seemed impossible.

I had to babysit, an interview tomorrow, and so on the list goes.

How was I suppose to counsel others when I didn't even know how to do it to myself?

I heard Lily's faint cries as I sign that she was awake.

I got up and went into Lily's room and gently pulled her out of her crib.

I slowly started to rock her but she only cried harder.

"Must be hungry" I sighed as I walked out of the room.

I went downstairs and went into the kitchen to fix her a bottle which took about 15 minutes.

This is definitely how I wanted to spend my first night before my interview.

I got the chance to be a counselor at a middle school. Hopefully the interview went well.

Then I'll be able to pay for the bills.

While I fed Lily I heard footsteps and wasn't surprised when I saw that Petra came to check up on me.

She just stared at me with a soft gaze.

She comes up to me and wraps her arms around my waist. "You're the best you know that?" She sighs.

"How'd you know I was up?" I murmured as I swayed Lily.

"I didn't feel you next to me" she answered softly.

We both stayed quiet. Nothing being heard but the rapid sucking of Lily eating/drinking.

"You're going to do fine Levi" Petra suddenly assures me. I could tell she was referring to the interview.

"I know but it's not that I'm worried about" I told. "...Mikasa?" She guessed slowly.

I hesitated before nodding.

"I know it's unbearable Levi but... Maybe you should just accept her death and try to do things in life that she didn't" Petra suggested.

My eyes hardened.

"That's not fair" I scoffed as I looked away from her.

"But her death is stopping you from doing things you want... It's consuming you and you need help" Petra exclaimed.