Demons

Chapter (15)

Few days have passed and everyone was on edge. Zeynep was lost and exhausted. Kemal talked to her and asked her to file for divorce again but she told him that there's no point. If Emir went to all this trouble to annule the divorce he'll never agree to divorce her willingly. She's stuck with him until he reaches his goals which is to make Kemal loose.

Again Emir is using her as a tool in his war. And that's what hurts her the most. She didn't want to call or see him yet. She was worried about Bulut and his lack of a reaction. She called him several times during these days but he was acting weird. Maybe he was just as overwhelmed as her. He needed time.

After a few days, Zeynep went to Bulut's house to talk to him. Bulut was home waiting for her.

When she stood in front of him she found herself looking for the right words to say. She was so nervous.

"Bulut. I really don't know what to say. I'm so sorry about what happened. I didn't expect such thing"

"I know Zeynep. And don't be sorry it's not your fault" Bulut said softly but coldly at the same time.

"look I can file for divorce again and everything will get back to the way it were I pro..." Bulut cut her in.

"Do you really want to file for divorce Zeynep?"

"Y.. yes. Why wouldn't I?" She asked him confused by his coldness.

"Look Zeynep I have a confession to make. When you told me all about the past and what Emir did to you and how much you loved him back then. There was this only question nagging at me all the time and I didn't dare to ask fearing the answer and that was really selfish from me"

"What? What did you wanted to ask me?" Bulut paused for a second and then asked.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Zeynep's breathes caught in her throat. She definitely didn't expect this question.

"I.. I.." She stuttered.

"You don't have to answer me Zeynep. I kinda know the answer"

"What answer?"

"When you had a panick attack at our wedding,  neither me nor Kemal were able to reach to you. But only a single word from him made you relax instantly. That wasn't what caught my attention actually it was the way you looked at him. You never looked at me that way. You looked at him like he's your whole world, like he was your life line. And the look on his face wasn't different either" Zeynep was speechless. Emir doesn't look at her like that. He doesn't love her.

"Bulut. I don't know what you saw but you're really wrong. Emir is nothing to me. Our relationship was over along time ago, he hurt me so much nothing left for us anymore"

"Maybe but that didn't stop you from loving him. Look Zeynep I would fight for you tooth and nail if I knew that you really want that, I would do anything to free you from him. But do you want me too?"

Zeynep thought about that for a second (does she want to? Does she want Bulut to be on the receiving end of Emir's evilness?).

"look Bulut. Fighting Emir is so dangerous I don't want you to get hurt. NOT because I care about him It's because I care about you. You'll get hurt and I can't have that"

"Then what Zeynep?  What does this new situation mean for us?" He asked her, felling frustrated

"I don't know" she bit back.

"I know"

Zeynep looked at him eager to hear his solution.

"I think we should break up" Bulut said with a tight voice his eyes already full of tears.

Zeynep was shocked "No Bulut please don't do this? We can figure it out"

"We can't. not when you're not even sure about your own feelings, I can't live like this Zeynep. I love you so much but I can't live in uncertainty, in the constant suspicion of your love for me.

"But I do love you"

"Not like the way you love him. I've seen you two, the kind of connection I saw there wasn't something easly broken, you two were in your own world you didn't pay attention to anyone else"

"Bulut listen I'll be honest with you. Yes I once loved Emir very much but it was impossible. He doesn't even love me, he's just using me to best Kemal. I was just a tool in his war and I don't want to get back to that"

"But I can't live like that Zeynep. Who knows maybe someday Emir will see the encridble person you are and appreciate you like you deserve"

"No. don't give up on me please " Zeynep was begging him crying. Bulut was crying too.

"I'll never give up on loving you but this is for the best. Whenever you need me I'll be there for you as a freind" He said it with certainty and Zeynep knew that the argument is over and there no chance for him to change his mind.

They hugged and cryed then Zeybep gave him back his ring and left. She was so sad and broken. It's over her and Bulut are over.
And she was so sad but deep in her soul she felt a bit received, and gor that she hated herself.

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