neighbours » h.s [REVISING]

Big Bad World

I wished I could tell you that I was awoken by the beautiful sounds of chirping birds by my window or Harry's groggy morning voice whispering a good morning in my ear as I rolled over in his arms. I wished I could say I woke up peacefully and happy, but it was quite the opposite. 

It wasn't even eight in the morning when Reece came running into my room telling me to call an ambulance. Harry and I scrambled from my bed in a panic and followed the screams of my mother into her bedroom.I stood over my fathers limp and unconscious body while Harry and my mother tried to keep him alert and assess any damage while the ambulance came. 

The first half an hour of my day was spent crying out of fear over my own father's body with my mother and brother as Harry tried to comfort us. He even drove my family to the hospital while I rode in the ambulance with him, never letting his hand go because this was the man who I have only ever loved and the first man that ever loved me. He was the only person in the world who could brighten up my day by just being there and during the hectic ambulance ride, I realized that if I lost him today I would lose myself and so would the rest of the family because my dad was what made us a family. 

Upon arriving I watched the paramedics carefully transfer his body to a gurney and rush him through the hospital doors while I stood emotionless before the doors, knowing if I enter I won't come back out the same. I didn't even feel Harry wrap his usually comforting arm around my shoulders and lead me in, or my mothers sobs as she held Reece's hand tightly and walked ahead of us. 

It was only when Harry sat me down that I came back to reality. I snapped back and watched the scene unfold in front of me, doctors and nurses casually strolling around the corridors and patients come in and out and I felt angry. Everyone was just carrying on with life while mine was on hold and was also about to permanently change. I was so confused. None of us knew what was wrong with him, we were told a possible stroke had occurred but that only worsened our states rather than calmed us. Nothing like this has ever happened, nothing. 

"Mae, baby, please answer me," Harry eventually begged. I turned my head to him and blinked a few times. He looked so stressed. Exhausted, but stressed.  I felt a tiny bit dramatic and selfish so I shook my head and asked him to repeat what he said. He didn't look totally keen on my response but repeated. 

"I asked if you were okay." He said calmly. I didn't notice he had both my hands in his until he began rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and quickly wiped it away, looking down at my lap. "What do you think?" I replied.

"You were just worrying me, you wouldn't walk or talk. Your mum is worried." He mumbled. He used his hand to pull me into his chest and I cuddled into it, breathing in his scent as tears continued to roll down my face. "I just don't know what to do, Harry. This all feels so strange and I don't like it, I can't lose my dad." I sobbed. 

Harry shushed me and massaged my scalp with his fingers and it felt so nice. I relaxed deeper into his body and we must have stayed like that for a good while before a doctor came out to greet us and I perked up immediately, wiping my face dry of its tears.

I stared hopefully at the older man, his white coat seemed intimidating as he took a seat in front of us all. "Family of Steven Fletcher?" He asked. We all nodded and he proceeded to flip through a file and sighed out. "He has suffered a stroke and is currently being prepared for surgery. We're not sure of the cause but what matters is he gets the medical attention he needs, which he will get. I want to warn you he will be put into a medically induced coma after the surgery but he has a high chance of waking up within forty-eight hours of that." He finished.

It was hard to take all of that information in. The word stroke was stuck in my head and I couldn't even get used to the thought of that before the word coma came into play and I shook my head. "No- no coma. With all due respect, you will not be doing that. I know what goes down with this stuff. I've seen the movies, you assure us that he will be taken care of and will be fine and then the next minute you're switching off his life support telling us there is simply nothing you can do." I blabbed. I was a hot flustered mess as I spoke to them all, probably looking crazy as I looked at each of them with wide panicked eyes. 

Harry tried to shush me while the doctor attempted to change my mind. "Miss Fletcher, I respect that you're concerned about your father but this is what's best for him, I promise you." He smiled softly and I looked at my mother. It was ultimately her decision and she knew that which is why she wouldn't even look at me. She began talking to the doctor and filled in Becca as she walked in while I mumbled insults to them all relentlessly. Harry was still trying his best to keep me calm and I was very close to telling him to get lost too but he took my hand and began to walk me down the corridors for some privacy. 

He suddenly stopped in front of me and I stared at him blankly. Gripping my shoulders, Harry dipped his head down to meet me eye level. "Mae, can I talk to you?" He asked. I was surprised by his change in tone and watched him, nodding. He slightly smiled and then furrowed his brows. "This isn't a fucking movie." He simply stated. I was shocked, to say the least, but I kept quiet as he paced the floors in front of me. 

"That scene back there was bad. You mentioned that you've seen it in the movies, yeah? Well, this is real life and that doctor is trying to save your dads life. As your boyfriend, I have your back one hundred and ten percent but as me, Harry the asshole, I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and put your dad and family first." He grunted. 

His words were sinking in and I felt embarrassed. It was only Harry, I never really felt embarrassed in front of him until now. When I said nothing, he swirled my body towards the room my family was sitting in and he nodded to the window. "Your little brother is currently comforting your grown mother and sister. Not you, your little brother. I comforted your little brother in the car and told him to be there for his family and look at him. And if he can do that I'm damn sure you can." 

I watched Reece embrace my mum and sister and suddenly felt very guilty. I was being very selfish and didn't even realize until Harry said so, I felt like an asshole. Yes, this was challenging for me but not once did I even ask my mother how she was feeling. I took charge and practically made it all about me. I shut my eyes and sighed out, knowing I had to get my shit together. 

"You're right," I told Harry. He hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head. "I'm always here for you but you need to be there for them. You're a strong girl, Mae." He smiled. As his hands rubbed my arms up and down in an attempt to comfort me again I nodded and thanked him before walking back to my family. Once I walked in, I knew they were hesitant of me but I simply just walked over and joined in the hug. Mum muffled a sob and I was whisked back down to the reality that I wasn't the only one hurting. 

"What's happening now then?" I asked them. My little brother pat my back and explained that he was in surgery, so we all just sat.  And we waited.