neighbours » h.s [REVISING]

I love you

I quietly watched each tree whizz by as Harry hurried to get me home. It was close to midnight and I was told to go home and get some rest, much to my protest. With my father out of surgery and unresponsive, I figured I was no use after five hours. I agreed to let Harry take me home, but insisted to be back first thing in the morning. 

As Harry twisted the house key for me and pushed open the door I felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me. It had been a long, emotional day that I was very much not prepared for. None of us were. The couch certainly looked very inviting, so I dumped myself onto it and kicked off my shoes. 

"Want something to eat?" Harry asked. He was extremely caring today and whilst I adored how sweet he was being, I wanted him to act normal. I needed some sense of normality in my life right now. I shook my head and motioned for him to come sit beside me. 

Shrugging off his jacket, he smiled down at me and got comfortable. It wasn't long until I cuddled into his warm chest and shut my eyes. Each time I inhaled, I could smell his cologne and I loved it. As cliche as that may sound, it soothed me so much. His soft breaths filled the room with sound and I listened to each one carefully. "You're very quiet." He mentioned. 

I stifled a laugh and stared up at him admiringly. "Shit sorry, I didn't realize there was much conversation going on," I remarked. 

His lips curled upwards and he rolled his eyes. "Don't be cheeky."

I didn't respond, I just smiled to myself as Harry flicked through a few channels on the television and then pulled me closer. "I saw you from a different point of view today." He mumbled. 

"What does that even mean?" I asked. I furrowed my brows in confusion, still watching the television. 

Harry shrugged his shoulders as I felt them move against my back. He sighed at first and my heart began to race, worrying about what he was going to say. His silence was worrying me, and I was going to ask again but he started talking. 

"Usually I see Mae, the girl I couldn't take my eyes off of and the girl who consumed my mind all the time. I see my girlfriend, who I'm supposed to protect and adore, treat a certain way and think a certain way about..you know? Like I just see you as my Maelynn, but today was different."

He sat up in his spot and I did too, now facing him. I could feel my heart beating in my throat. His long lashes spread across his cheek as he stared at his lap. My eyes watched his ring clad fingers knot the material of his shirt as he fumbled with them. The TV sounded in the background continuously before Harry continued talking. 

"It was like I wasn't me and I was watching you be your own person. I never saw you as that, which is messed up I guess but I just saw you as someone's property. When we met, you were Jasper's, Then Louis' friend, then you were Beth's friend...I never thought of you as your own person. I even thought of you as my girlfriend. But today I did, and I saw how you had a meltdown in the hospital and how strong you were afterward for your family. I just saw you as Maelynn Fletcher, no one's friend, sister, daughter, love interest..just you." He finished. 

I let all the information in one ear and thought about it. I didn't know if I was offended or glad, or simply didn't care. It must have been bothering Harry though if he felt the need to share, so I just shrugged and cuddled back into him while pulling the covers over us. "That's good then.." I responded. 

I wasn't mad he saw me as someone's property. I mean, it's strange and probably a bit sexist but I didn't see Harry as a sexist person so I didn't take it that way, he seemed calm too. He just wrapped his arm around me and we continued to watch the television. We were in and out of a conversation until his phone rang and he hit decline, over and over again. 

"Babe, just answer it," I told him, eyes laced on the tv. He shifted slightly then and put the phone face down on the table. "It's Aria." He said dryly. The name struck something in me and I sat up immediately. "You mean your ex?" I asked. 

I watched his glossed over green eyes search my face. His lips turned into a frown as my own fell agape. I didn't like the fact he had contact with her, especially since she's the girl that he went crazy over after he kissed me. I wasn't having it. 

"Mae, she's my friend." He tried to say. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. My back hit the couch as I distanced myself from him. "The friend you casually had a relationship with back in Cheshire, Harry." I mentioned. 

He moved closer to me, I scooted away. My arms folded over and I felt extremely childish but also very annoyed. Harry continued to get closer until he was practically breathing down my neck. "Don't be one of those girls." He pleaded. 

I almost felt bad. I did, but then I decided I wasn't letting this go. "Harry you told me you loved her. I don't feel comfortable knowing you still talk to her." I said quietly. He sighed out and took my hand, which I let him do. 

"I did love her, and she is important to me. But we have both moved in and I'm very happy here with you, darling." He told me. His lips were centimeters away from my ear as he spoke into it quietly. I knew what he was doing though.

I moved away slightly but squeezed his hand back. "Okay. But one thing, Harry." I looked at him sternly. He nodded and licked his bottom lip. 

"I don't want you having secret long phone calls or texting non-stop. I get she's your friend but I've been cheated on once and I'm not about to let you do it to me." I warned him. He seemed to take it in then warily nod. "Can I see your texts? If your friends, you know." I asked.

His eyes widened for a second, then he looked at his phone. "Uh, I hope you don't take this the wrong way babe, but no." He said. I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as he said this. "What are you hiding?" I asked him, slightly scared of his answer. 

"Nothing, I promise. It's just my last conversation with her is kind of private." He mumbled, fear still laced in his eyes. I was scared too. This was where my trust was really going to have to come into play with Harry, and so I nodded. 

"I trust you," I told him. My heart was telling me to trust him and not intrude, but my stomach still had that gut-wrenching knot that I couldn't shake off. I felt so off, but Harry smiled and put his phone away, which helped a bit. His arms came around my back immediately and he sat back, pulling me with him. I laughed quietly as my face collided with his shoulder and he lifted me onto his lap. Looking down at him I couldn't help but let negative thoughts wash away. 

"I trust you too." He cutely whispered, My heart fluttered as he sweetly kissed my collar bone and shut his eyes. 

Harry can be one of the scariest people I know, and then the cutest. I could hate him one second and love him the next- and while I've hated to admit I have never experienced love in a relationship I was getting ready for it in this one. My life a year ago can't compare to now. Even on a day like this, with my father in a hospital bed, I was capable of feeling joy and that was because of my Harry. His touch was electrifying and made me feel so secure. It was a flicker of love I had for him, and I know it can only strengthen over time, but never have I ever felt so connected to a person. I've never met a person I could actually see myself with for a long time and it was so amazing. I trusted him, and even though he was friends with Aria, I wasn't jealous. I was scared, but not jealous.

I listened to his soft snores as my chest pressed into his and his warm hands pressed against the bare skin of my back from under my shirt. My own legs straddled his waist and I wanted to laugh as his chest rose and fell, causing my own body to rise and fall with it. I felt at peace and didn't want this moment to end. My eyes were watching the material on the couch while my hands tucked under his waist. His fingertips, so delicately resting on my bare skin were driving me crazy. I could feel a burning sensation wherever he touched me and I just knew I wasn't going to be getting used to his touch for a long time. 

As I thought more and more about it, I think I did love Harry, and my days of loving the thought of him were over. They died last year, and the moment I began to put his own feelings ahead of mine, was when I really start loving him. So I decided to tell him, not having the balls to do it to his face. 

"I love you." I whispered, only getting a soft snore back, but it was enough. He was enough, and so I slipped into sleep myself and left the night with that message.