neighbours » h.s [REVISING]

unbelievable

As the next few days passed, I felt myself slip away a little more. I had gone through this before when I was cheated on, just not as severe. It was simply a heartbreak. 

When dad told us he was reacting well to his treatment, I felt a little happier. I had to force a smile though and thank the heavens I wasn't losing him. I was just being a bit of a cunt to everyone though, and I knew it was because of Harry. 

Three weeks to the day he left for Cheshire and two weeks and four days since I had last spoken to him, I had given up on the relationship. I was scrolling through my phone at the moment, it was almost midnight and I was just waking up after sleeping all day. A plate of half-eaten fries lay next to me on my bedside table. 

My fingers skimmed over Harry's name in my contacts and I clicked on it, ringing him for the umpteenth time, knowing he wasn't going to answer. I let it go to voicemail and I sobbed into my pillow listening to his voice. He was the only one who could draw emotion from me these days. The phone hung up itself and I sat up, walking towards my window. 

It was a routine now, I climbed to my roof and lay back to watch the stars. The only thing that brought me comfort was knowing he was under the same sky as me. Saying that to myself made me realise how pathetic I was being.  Anne and Robin didn't even know where he was. 

I traced the shapes that the stars made in my head and pursed my lips. I was literally going insane, I thought. 

I sat up and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders tighter. It was absolutely freezing outside and I enjoyed it, mainly because it was almost all I could feel lately. I was about to head back to my room when someone spoke out into the freezing night air. 

"I missed him too." They said. I turned to see Gemma, standing at Harry's windowsill. I didn't know what to say really, so I just stared at her. She stepped out onto his roof and made her way over to me. "He's done this before though, you've seen it too." She said. I still didn't reply, I just sat there.

"I'm sorry he's done this to you, Mae." She whispered. She tucked the knotted hair behind my ear and I flinched. I apologised and she smiled. "Mum spoke to him today, I thought you'd want to know." She announced. I felt myself inhale deeply and a little flicker of happiness poked its way into my body. 

"Is he coming back?" I asked her. She was surprised that I had spoken, but she nodded. "He's here already. I was just trying to get you to open up a bit. And warn you." She smiled. 

I furrowed my brows. I was confused but nodded unsurely, "Where is he?" I asked her. She simply stood up and offered her hand to me, "He's in the house, c'mon."

I shook my head violently. "I can't see him right now," I told her. "Why not?"

"I-I don't know." My voice trembled. 

"Okay, how about you stay in his room and I'll send him up?" She suggested. Her blonde hair blew in the wind and her striking eyes targeted me until I nodded my approval. I followed her to his room and did as I was told. I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders even tighter and waited for him. His room smelled just like him and I inhaled deeply, feeling the smallest twinge of comfort from the familiarity. 

My heart began to race as I hear someone run up the stairs, and before the door was even opened, he was calling my name. The door swung open and we were face to face. He looked the absolute same and it made me feel sick. He obviously hasn't suffered through any of this. I, on the other hand, looked like an actual dead body. My hair hadn't been brushed and the bags under my eyes were now almost consuming my face. Bloodshot eyes and dry lips weren't exactly desirable. But he, he looked amazing. He wore a red shirt tucked into jeans and his hair looked fresh and clean, pushed back from his face. His face though, it didn't look too fresh.

His eyes drooped and his lips parted momentarily. "What happened to you?" He asked me quietly. I didn't reply as he took a seat beside me. 

"Maelynn Rose, look at me." He urged. The use of my name like that made my heart flutter but I tried to ignore it. I simply looked at him. He rose a hand to my hair, pushing it from my face. "You look.." He struggled to find words, so I finished it for him. "Disgusting."

"No, I was going to say something else." He quickly spoke. "You look sad." He concluded. I scoffed at this one. 

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I asked him. He stared at me with wide eyes and I searched them for any remorse. "Harry you disappeared for three weeks. You ran off to your ex and I look 'Sad', fucking sad?" 

My heart was racing as I yelled at him. The blanket dropped from my shoulders and his eyes went to my bare legs, which I attempted to hide. He grabbed my wrists and stopped me. "Let me look at you." He whispered. 

He took the time to look. He started from my feet, all the way up to my face, pulling me closer and turning me to the side as he pleased. "Why?" was all I said as he tossed my limp body from side to side. He stopped, resting his hand on my stomach. 

"Because I want to see you, Maelynn. Is that okay?" He seethed. I slumped back onto the bed and we both remained silent. 

"My dad has cancer," I announced. 

He turned to look at me, mouth agape. "I didn't know-"

"Yeah no shit, you never answered your phone to me." I finished for him.

"My phone is gone." He told me. I raised my brow and laughed dryly. "That's your excuse?"

"I swear to god. My phone is gone, I left it somewhere and I had to contact my mum on a payphone to transfer my money to get home." I began to feel bad after he confessed this. If he was telling the truth, it would be much easier to forgive him. But I couldn't, he could have rung home sooner and came back for me. 

He put his hand over my thigh and I swore I heard him sniffle, but I was too scared to see so watched his hand. "I still love you, nothing has changed." He told me. I nodded and kept my gaze on his hand. 

"Don't you love me?" He asked weakly. 

I looked up to him this time. A tear fell from his eye and I felt extremely guilty. I had only seen him cry once, and it was just as heartbreaking as the last time. "I do, obviously" I told him.

"Of course I do. Look at me, look at what you did to me- this is all because of you." I told him. He bit his lip to refrain from crying and I did too. "Harry I haven't slept. I don't eat and if I do, It's a meal a day. Some days nothing at all. You left me so alone after I let you so close to me. The night before it all happened was so important to me and you proved me right in thinking that all men do the same." I began.

"My dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour. That set me over the edge and now you're the first person I've spoken to for longer than thirty seconds in a week. You weren't there for me, nobody was, and I needed you most of all." I cried. I found myself crying into his arms now as he pulled me into him. He kept repeating he was sorry until I stopped crying and I tried to compose myself. 

"I can't believe I've done this to you." He mumbled, kissing my head through my hair. "I love you so much."

"I don't think you do." I told him. 

"What does that mean?" He asked.

"I don't know. It doesn't take an 'I love you' to forget about all of this." I mumbled. He agreed and took my hand in his. 

"That night was very important to me too. I'm forever sorry I ruined it by leaving the next day, but I really had to. I would have done it for you in a heartbeat, Mae. I needed to be there for a friend." He explained. I turned to face him and sighed out, long and loud. 

"I forgive you." I breathed.

"You do?" He asked, slightly surprised.

I nodded and climbed into his lap, holding him tightly. "Please never leave me again. Please" I begged. He held me just as tight and promised me he wouldn't. 

And I believed him, stupidly. 

AN??

I took this chapter down and re-wrote parts of it. It felt too extreme for me and the character I was creating, so I would read back on it if you have read this chapter before. 

All the love x