Poems.... Of Those Words Never Said

I'm scared..

It's sad to say
In this world of so many
I feel so alone
Like that if I just leave I would be

At peace
With my self finally
Cause does no one know
Why u keep things from them

Why when ur up till
About midnight u just pray
For someone to talk to u
But that's not gonna happen

Cause guess what girl
Life sucks
Cause at night when u cry
While watching her die

There she is sleeping
Not able to help u
Cause she just doesn't know
That ur so scared to say

To say all the things u need to say
The whole thing u plan in ur mind
Over and over
But never type to hit send

Cause then she says something nice
Or she doesn't respond
But don't cry
She is gonna come back

But only when she wants
Love
Cause my dear ur controlled
Ur heart was given but they only broke a piece for now

And little does anyone know
When u give that heart out
U can't really get it back
Cause well they like this heart

But no u stay
And wait
Cry
And what r u doing

Well ur doing all the things u shouldn't the things they find Dispipical
The things u regret
In a constant state

U think it's all ur fault
Cause that's how it always was
Cause hell of u happy that's not right
So u cry and pretend

Till those girls just say that thing
Once again
The words said about how
U r nothing good

How ur fat
Rude
And just mean
But don't tell anyone

Cause u think u deserve it
Did I tell u love
That well  bullied again
And again

And it hasn't stopped yet
Those girls in my life well they say
Ur so much bigger than me
And well u eat so much

Don't u just wanna loose weight
Or move it
Just make u better
Cause it won't ever be perfect

I hear it over and over
Those girls joke about my suicide
Till they understand I think it everyday
U don't know the thoughts I fought

And well im stuck here
In this weird terrible spot
I wish for it to end
But this end is one way

Do I do this ams loose it all
Or fight everyday for years straight
How I'm not this and that
And never will be

Tonight a girl looked at me and said
If ur so great
Where did ur ex go
And I got quiet cause that was it

The one thing that made it all real
At least for me
Cause in all this time
I sit and think

I never forget
That boy who left me for my best friend
And said she was prettier than me
Or the ex's that left

Cause it just wasn't working
It been 4 that have come
And well left
Yet idk why

But they never leave my life
They continued to say
Well I might still love u
But what happened to the truth

Cause dude
I don't want pitty
Or sympathy
I want u to sit and tell me what u think

How u don't know the things I've been doing
The things imcant do anymore
And what no one knows
That I will so tell

This girl that is me
Forces her self not to eat
Cause of this problem she has
An disorder not talked about

To eat more and more and well
More
Cause it helps with this mind set
That consumer holds

To finally say
How I know u don't know how I feel
But I don't know how u do either
Cause when I ask u get scared

Maybe I'm stuck on an ex
Which one maybe idk yet
Or I do but telling
Well that's never best

Its like playing with a match by
Well a whole bucket of gas
Ur bound to burn
Off maybe if j just said

Just so they might understand
That so many times
Have u tried to say
Not for the readers getting to the end

But maybe that one person who might text back once again
Cause maybe I can't sleep
Or eat right
Cause well its now only u stuck on my mind

Thinking about how I called u mine
Or the soft touch u brought
The sweet sent of ur hair
Cause my love

My heart still belongs to u
And gpd I'm scared
That maybe
Just maybe

U might love

Or

Break

Me

Again...

(Thank u for every read u all bring how it enjoying these poems 😳😅)