Poems.... Of Those Words Never Said

Mistakes

In my life I've made so many

With records of them

In the chimney

Burned to the ashes

I wanna loose what made them

Happen

I've made a mistake every week

Taken pills to end my pain

But all it does

It add to my list again

But I can't tell the one close about the scars

Or the night

The one that makes me shutter at the sight

The notes

And the poems

The thing that makes me owe them

The one that hurt me

A explanation

Or an I'm sorry

Cause I mess up

Every week

Oh such a reacuring thing

Do I write my pain

For the world to see

When I don't even know what's wrong with me

Or do I hide in my covers

And wonder who I am

Do I tell the one who don't understand?

Do I try to be nice to the one that leave

Or do I leave completely

Do I try a little longer in this harder fight

Or do I struggle to end it with all I can try

After the sleepless nights

And days without eating

I loose a pound by the day

And the people are retreating

Asking if I'm okay

And if I'll be eating

But my body is messed up why don't they see it

I wanna be helped but can't find out how

I thought with everything I've gotten

This would be how

But maybe in this time

I'm not meant to see

Maybe in this life

It's just out of reach

So I'll struggle

And I'll fight

And I'll tell you all of this right?

But what no one can see

Is the tears I shed

From what you all don't see

But this is all in my head

And it's my only escape

The words I write on this page

So read them with care

Cause they are all that I have

And don't rip it

If you think it's my last

But keep it safe

Like I try my love

So to all that care thank u

And believe my words

When they are here

Cause they might disappear.