Poems.... Of Those Words Never Said

Blade

I'm a week clean

It sounds great

Don't you think?

I don't cry as much

Or maybe that's what I'm a tell you

I'll tell you how happy I am

I'll smile more

As I watch what kills me

Deep down

No one sees past my mask do they

Why would they

I said oh hey I'm okay

Turned I'm fine

Into my only lie

Besides the people I say

"I love you"

Too..

Maybe I don't mean it

Cause

I

I don't wanna hurt you

Everyone knows what I feel

When I wear my heart

Stuck on my sleeves

Cause mom says that's how you find

Find what?

Find someone good right?

Try again.

Cause they will take out the seems

And break your heart

Like it never mattered to them

And you maybe never had theirs

Cause they hid it behind so many

Walls

So yes I'm clean

But I have mine

Taped to my heart

Waiting for the time I wanna bleed

To help me feel

Pain that never leaves

Somewhere else for maybe just a little while

Cause yes it hurts

And what hurts most

Is the people

The thoughts

The people who are so suicidal

I die inside

The people who don't wanna ask

Are you fucking okay

Cause no I'm not

I'm almost dead

But that's okay

I guess

That hopeless dreamer

Won't make it to the stars

Cause her heart

Is stuck all over the burning earth

I wanna leave

And stop being trapped

I cut the ties away

But all it does is make me bleed

Yet again

Help I scream out to you

But you hear a normal hello

And talk about how you feel better today

But I NEED HELP OKAY?

Help me please.

I don't want die

From the pain of being fallen

Pain of loving

The broken

Yet again

Love me?

Just once like I love you

Love me like you did once

Love me more than I do this blade

To my bruised and broken skin

Could you kiss the pain away

Like you did last time

I'm screaming

God

I just need help this time

From you

Maybe I want to reach you

Without sending that text

Asking for help

Maybe you could come back

And be around me

Oh dear god I hope

Love me?

Like you did before?

Longer than a month or two

Longer than an hour

Longer than you usually do

Before my blade and skin

Meet again

For a battle

Of their love

Kiss it better?

No just for a night?

Cause I still love you

Yes thats right

I'ma a die like

A broken hearted dreamer

No where near her sky

Using a tool that will never help

So love me?

Just one more night....

So

I

Could

Breathe

And

Cut

The

Reins

And

Maybe

Win

The

Fight....