Chapter 25 - "Freshly Fucked"

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"What?.." I whisper.

"Your phone wouldn't stop, so I went over to turn it on silent I had to scroll screen down to do that... One message, in particular, stood out."

"What did it say?"

"Why don't you check yourself?"

"Loge.."

"I knew you were fucking Gino, It gutted me but you're not with me anymore so I couldn't and wouldn't say anything.. But your stepdad? Lee come on what the fuck?"

I could sit here and try to defend myself.. I could lie and tell him it's not true.
But I can't lie. Not to him - he knows me too well.

"I don't know what to say to you."

"Well, I know you're not gonna try and lie to me, just tell me.. Why?"

"I don't know.. He makes everything better."

"Everything?"

"You. He erases you from my mind."

"Fuck sake, Lee.. What is it? Revenge on your Mom? You're better than this. This isn't you."

"What? You think I'd sleep with someone just for revenge? Is that what you think of me?"

"Fuck no! We had a perfect night, I woke up happier than I have in so long I can't remember. If that was anyone else I'd be gutted but I'm more confused than anything.."

"What did the message say?" I mumble.

"That he's going crazy not knowing where you are and you mean everything to him."

"I told you."

"What?"

"I told you I don't like who I've become since moving back here. I told you I'm a slut."

"No baby, you're not a slut. You're just lost and confused."

"I can see the disgust in your face.."

"Yeah. But that was only because I thought you did it to get back at your Mom and that's not something you would do. I was shocked and confused, but never disgusted with you."

"I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanna go home and I can't because I don't even know what my Dads capable of.. I don't even know who he is anymore. So how can I go home? Where is home?"

"This is your home. With or without me. This is your home. Not in America with your Dad, whether you're at mine, Shane's, Hunter's or your Mom's... It's your home."

"I feel like... I don't know. I can't put it into words. I'm just not me anymore."

"You've just lost yourself along the way. I did too.. But now you're back ...after last night I found myself again. I love you, no matter what choices you make but that doesn't mean I'm not mad at you for being so careless."

"I know. I'm stuck in a fucked up situation and don't know how to get out of it."

"What situation?"

"I can't talk to you about it.."

He climbs over towards me
"Its me Lee. You can talk to me about anything."

"I love you.."

"I know, I love you too.."

"No listen please."

He nods. I take a deep breathe I can't believe what I'm about to say.

"I love you. But I feel something towards Hunter and Gino too. I'm so messed up I don't know how to make it stop."

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