Breaking Boundaries

Chapter 53 - "Why?"

"This is me, this is me being pushed to the edge. You don't like me very much like this do you? Why is that? Because I'm acting my age? Because I'm not obeying you? Am I not mature enough for you?"

The whole thing sounds pathetic, but I need to know. If I'm not enough, if I'm too much? There's no point in this and I can just be alone and get along with life. All this stress, is he worth it?

"You anger me, you press buttons I didn't know I fucking had! No you're not mature, but that has absolutely nothing to do with your age its about the situations you keep finding yourself in. I don't like you very much like this no, but I still love your crazy little ass!"

"Why would you want to be with someone that pushes you so hard? You like being in control and control slips a lot with me doesn't it?"

It's true, he could have someone that obeys absolutely everything he says and even though I do most of the time, some people can't be tamed and I'm one of them. Out of control? Maybe.

H.
I don't know what the fuck is going on in her mind right now, she's in a state.
She's right, she does push me and she always makes me lose my control and that... That is a scary thing for me. I need control. I need it all, if I don't have it it makes me weak and I will never be weak.
But I am for her, I wish I wasn't sometimes, life would be easier but what would be the fun in that?

"Yes, you make me lose control a hell of a lot, that's something I hate you know. Losing control. But with you? It's different, it pushes me to new lengths. It's changed me, Yes I want full control over what you do but I knew the first day I met your stubborn little ass that was never going to happen. And besides, what's the fun in being with someone that obeys everything you say?"

R.
Ok, that makes sense, I guess?
I want him, all of him I want his control, I need his control. Just look at what happens when he isn't around to control me and what I do.
I end up in this mess.
Once again my thoughts take me a little longer.

" Are you listening?"
I love that stern voice, it's stern but he cares its all in his tone. He tries to make it sound like he's mad at me, but he can't be.
He never can...

"Why me?"
I don't know where that came from but I need to know, I can't understand why someone like him wants me, little broken me.
Rylee, the mess.

H.
Is she fucking serious right now?
Why her?
Shit, how do I answer that question? I have so much to say but I'm not sure how to say it?

"Why you? I ask myself that a lot because life would be a lot simpler wouldn't it if we didn't fall in love? I'd still be the bastard I was when you met me, and you well you'd probably be happy with Gino or Logan and half of your problems wouldn't exist. But in life, when you have a heart of stone, you use it to protect yourself from these things. I've never allowed anyone close to me, yet you, I couldn't fucking stop it. I tried my damn hardest and it wouldn't happen. That's why. I have no other reason other than you make me weak and you make me lose control. You made me love for the first time since my Mother died. So why not? Why not choose the crazy little bitch that angers me and arouses me all at the same time? Why not choose this wild out of control teenager that makes me lose my mind? Why not choose this beautiful mess infront of me? I'd kill for you, and I'd die for you. How many people can say that and mean it, sweetheart?"

R.
I'm speechless.
I didn't expect that at all, not from him, ever. Sure, he's said sweet heart melting things before but that was a speech basically saying yeah you're fucked up but I'll keep you forever anyway because you're my fucked up girl.