Chapter 34 -"I hate you.."

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"I never knew it was even possible.. i just went along with my body and I guess that was how we make love, sweetheart."

Every single heart string.. every single bone...everything's being twisted.. pulled...everything's tingling. 

"I felt it." I smile.

And I did. I felt his love for me and it was amazing.

"Good. I'm sorry I've been an ass lately. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you."

"I told you to stay away, you listened." I giggle.

"Yeah, I knew you were confused about everything..I didn't want to get in the way and make things worse."

"It's fine. You're here now."

He pulls me closer and kisses me on my head, spooning me. It feels amazing to have him so close.

"I wish I could do this every single night."

"Me too.."

The realisation of my mother hits me.
I've just had amazing meaningful sex with her fiancé.
I shouldn't feel guilty after everything she's done to me.. but I do.
No regrets though. Absolutely no regrets.
He's an amazing man, why couldn't I of met him before she did?
I know the age is a defect..
But not to me.. not to us.
I guess I just have to deal with the fact that I'll never be with him?

How do you deal with that though?

Knowing he goes home to her every night and not me?

"What happened at the graveyard, sweetheart?"

"We said our goodbyes."

After what had happened tonight with Hunter.. I completely forgot all about Logan...

"You don't ever have to let go, he's your baby. But I think it's something you needed to do."

"I mean, me and Logan."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not going to be around each other.. he said until I know if I want him or not basically."

"That's mature."

"Is it?"

"He could of just gave you an ultimatum, he didn't. He's gave you time to find yourself." He shrugs.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah.. that's what he said."

"You should get some sleep, baby." He soothes.

"So should you." I joke.

"I'd much rather watch you sleep."

"Because you're a weirdo."

"You, sweetheart, know that more than anybody."

"I do." I smile to myself as I creep into him even closer.

Safe.

That's how I feel when I'm around him.

Like no one else matters..

************

"I'm not fucking about with you, do as I fucking say. Did you forget who I am?"

I wake up to the sound of Hunter's angry tone.
I look to the side of me, he's on the phone.

"Are you not listening? That's your area. Do as I say else I'll put a fucking bullet in you myself."

He seems happy today.

I look to the side of me to see a fresh glass of orange juice.

I lean over and take a sip, before I have chance to turn around, I'm being swung around and onto Hunter.

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