Breaking Boundaries

Chapter 42 - "Feel it."

I slap him, hard.
But that was a wrong move. A very wrong move.

Because we know more than most what adrenaline does to you. When adrenaline kicks in, you are unstoppable and so is the kiss that's happening right now...

I have no idea how it happened.. but all I know is I can't stop it, I don't want to stop it... I don't care about the danger. I want it. I need it. I need him... and I have to have him.

Not sex, it's not about that anymore, we are too far gone. I just have to feel him, his lips on mine, him on me. His scent - I want it all. He pulls me over to the drivers seat and onto his lap so that I'm straddling him. I don't want sex - I need him to know that.

But just as though he heard my thoughts..

"Baby, it's OK, I just want to feel you. I've missed you so fucking much." He mumbles breathlessly against my mouth. I feel him, I know how he feels but..

Hunter.

I break the kiss, remove his hands from me and climb back over to the passenger seat. No words.

Just then a car pulls up opposite us, a guy dressed all in black climbs out. He seems familiar but I can't see him well enough to see exactly who it is.

"Do we have to take pics or anything?" I whisper. Maybe I should give him some kind of explanation as to why, why the hell I just kissed him like I've never wanted anything so bad - then broken the kiss and remained silent. But the truth is? I'm scared. Terrified actually, because I want him and that's all there is to it. But life's complicated like that isn't it? Is it possible to love three men? Is it possible to need them all in different ways? I guess one day I'll find out.

"No, we don't. Just observe the situation for a while. Lee what the fuck was that about?" He turns his head towards me, I don't know how to explain it to him, hell, I can't even look at him but suddenly I have no choice when he grasps my chin with his thumb and finger and forces me to look at him.

"Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything." He says with a solid face.

How do I tell him? When I don't know what the hell is going on myself? I want him, I want Hunter..... and Logan? I could never not want Logan. I miss him so much. But right now? It's Gino. Gino takes Hunter, Mom, Logan, Bobby and every shit thing in my life and makes it somewhat ok to deal with, no one else can do that. No one else has that kind of power. Only him.

"I don't know what you want me to say.." I start, yet I can't continue. My throat feels heavy, tight. The tears are coming - I can't allow them to. I swallow hard, numerous times to shift the lump in my throat. But of course, this is Gino. He notices.

"Baby, why are you crying? Talk to me, Lee?"

"I can't do this.." I whisper. Because, that's all I can manage.. it's the truth. I can't. Constantly switching between men. Who the hell does that? As soon as they show me some kind of attention - I give in and fall at their feet. That makes me weak and I don't want to be anymore...

"Do what? us? that's fine. I can back off." That would be perfect, however deep down that's the last thing I want but what do I say? I want you but I want Hunter too? Is there even a chance for me and Hunter? Will Gino shut down on me again? how can I be sure about anything right now? if ever?

"I can't do anything with you, I've been with Hunter the whole time you've been gone..I can't keep doing that, Gino, I can't.." and that's the truth, I can't give him anymore than that.

GINO'S POV

She's hurting, I see that but so am I? Shit, I don't even know why I am. Is it because she keeps mentioning that asshole? or is it because deep down I know she wants him more than me? have I ever got a chance with her? will he ever leave her alone? I have no answers so there's only one thing I can do. I lean over even further towards her and take her sweet, soft little face in my huge hands. She doesn't look at me yet she doesn't stop me or pull away either. That means something, right? "Lee, I got you. Always. I didn't want sex from you I just missed you, if you want him, I still got you." and I do, no matter what her decisions are. She has to start realising that.