Chapter 30 - "I tried to stop..."

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"I believe, I believe there's love in you.. Don't complicate it, Don't let the past dictate.."

"What happens now?" She whispers.

"What do you mean?"

No idea why I said that because I know exactly what she means. She wants me to give myself to her. 

"Us?.. is there an us?"

Always.

"You mean a lot to me and that's the reason I can't make you mine."

"Never?"

"I don't know.. I don't to promise you something.. then I break it. Something happened today and it's made me realize even more so, that you deserve better.."

"But sex is OK?"

That cuts me like fuck because I know even though I told her, before I touched her tonight, that nothing would change - I don't want her to feel used by me. I wish I could just love her, give her everything I want to give her. That's not the problem.. It's me.

I don't deserve someone like her.

"I'm sorry, Lee."

"Tell me." She whispers..

"Tell you what?"

"Do you believe that someone who has only known someone for a short time, can fall in love with them?"

"Lee.."

"Tell me exactly how you feel about me, I'll cut off Logan and I'll give myself to you, all of me. I'll wait for you to want me."

Fuck.

"Lee.. I do want you.."

"Tell me, just say it and I'm yours."

Her voice is no longer a whisper. It's a plea. Her voice is breaking.

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes I do believe you can fall for someone who you hardly know."

"Because you've fallen for me?"

"Lee.. fuck..."

"Gino.."

"Yes! fuck sake! Yes I've fallen for you. I can't get you out of my damn mind. Morning. Noon. Night. Every fucking second in between. You've taken over, you've done something to me that I never ever would have wanted.. but yet now it's all I want.. with you.. but I can't I'll hurt you Lee.. don't you see that? I'm no good for you.."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"But I want you Gino, all of you every fucking fucked up piece of you. damaged or not.."

"What about Logan? you love him? he'd never give up on you."

"We have a connection but he can't take my pain away like you can.. no one can.."

"What pain?"

"Logan you know that." she shrugs.

I also know she's full of shit. There's something else, but I won't push it. She hasn't asked about what happened to me since I told her. I know her enough to know she's just scared to ask me though. I respect that.

"Lee, I can't.."

"Why the fuck do you have to complicate things? me and you.. we work - we just work. You know it. FUCK everyone knows it! I can make you happy."

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