My Love, My mistake (Knight family book#2)

Chapter 38

I knew coming to work was a bad idea when I spent almost an hour staring at the screen of my computer.

I spent two days at the hospital, I just needed to get some work done. I needed to get myself to think about something else for one second, but I was here and I couldn't even move my hand to use the stupid computer.

All I saw for two days is my unconscious mother, doctors and nurses coming in and out. And all I felt was worry and fear.

I don't know what I'm gonna do if she doesn't wake up. She has to wake up.

Stella came to see her everyday and I know she was feeling guilty. I don't know why though. She was there and took care of everything at the hospital before I came.

"I told you to take the day off." I snapped out it and straightened up when Jason walked into my office.

"I already took two days off. How is Seb doing in Italy?"

"Good. He has Tom there."

"Tony." I corrected while typing the password of my computer.

He walked around my desk and leaning against it looking at me.

I know he found out about Kevin coming to the hospital. Before he called me after Kevin left the hospital to ask me if everything was fine. And when I walked out after after a few minutes there was a man beside the door.

Kevin is good at sneaking in places, but gets caught every time he gets out.

"I know you saw Kevin."

"Of course you do." I muttered with my eyes still glued on the computer screen. "I thought you would know where to find him by now."

"I know where to find him."

"And you're not doing anything?"

"No. I know all his moves. But I like making him feel stupid. It's not the time to kill him yet. But weirdly, it seems like he likes you."

"He was friends with my father." I shortly replied, not really wanting to get into the Kevin subject.

It is too hostile between them and I don't get stuck in between when I constantly have my mother in my mind.

"What was he doing there?" He asked turning my chair a little to face him.

"Talking."

"About what?"

"About you and your family thinking only about yourselves, how I shouldn't put all my hopes on you because I'll end up crushed. The usual." I said the last part almost sarcastically as my eyes started burning. "That's what he said. Is that all you needed to know?"

"Vic-"

"Please Jason. I don't want to talk about that. I just want to work, and go back to my mother. I don't want to be some kind of link or spy between you and Kevin. It is too much for me. If I know something that will put you or your family in danger, I promise I'll tell you. But he only talks about me or my dad and that is my business. You don't to worry about that part. I-" I stopped myself when I felt like I was going to break down if I kept talking.

"Look at me!" He cut me off angrily making my head snap toward him. "How many times do I have to tell you that your business is my business?"

I frowned looking down at my hands.

"I don't know if it's the fact that you talk to Kevin or if it's because you have a problem trusting me, but you need to stop pushing me away and stop thinking that I don't value your life more than my own. All I need is for you to stop putting this barrier between us."

I opened my mouth and closed. I honestly didn't know what to say so I just continued staring at my hands.

"I don't say things I don't mean and you know it. I meant what I told you in Italy." He stopped and let out a sigh before speaking more calmly. "Aren't we a team?"

I gulped blinking quickly so I wouldn't cry.

"Aren't we?" He repeated and I gulped again nodding.

"We are."

"So I need you to stop thinking so negatively." He said flicking my forehead. "And believe I'm telling you."

I slightly winced rubbing my forehead, feeling a little weight lifted off my shoulders. He grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him.

"What Kevin said is bullshit. I would fucking kill myself before I had to make a choice that involves any of you. I would rather die then choose between your life and my mother's or Elena's. Family comes first to me, and you are my family. I don't understand why it is so hard for you to believe it. For the hundredth time, just trust me. And I'm sure this is not the last time I'm gonna ask you that."

I looked at him wiping my tears. "I trust you."

He shook his head. "No you don't. You're just saying you do."

"No." I stood and moved closer to him. "I do. It just... sometime I just get paranoid and worried and-"

"Crazy?" He added and I had nod agreeing with him. "Annoying? Stubborn?"

I laughed lightly through my tears and nodded. "Yeah. All that. I'm sorry." I said quietly. "You're right. And I'm sorry."

"Come here." He wrapped his arms around hugging me tightly. "Stop crying."

I sniffed and completely ignored him. If I could stop crying, I would have by now. I'm not controlling it.

"How about we eat Italian tonight?"

"I can't. I have to go to the hospital." I said against his shoulder wrapping my arms around them.

"I didn't say go out. We grabbed the food and go see your mom. I'm sure you haven't been eating."

I just stayed quiet because he was right. I love food but there has been this weird knot in my stomach keeping me from eating anything.

"I need to get some work done." I said trying to pull away but he only held me tighter.

"You shouldn't even be here today." He said and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Who's gonna do my work?" I asked.

"When I walked in, you were staring at your computer."

"I'm fine Jason." I sighed pulling away slightly to look at him. "And you have work too."

"Yeah. I'll see you later." He kissed my forehead before walking toward the door.