Sinner

Jimin

"Go to hell!"
The moment the words leave my mouth I instantly regret them. They're not fair. After knowing all the struggles and pain Yoongi has suffered through, I really have no right to be this angry. I mean, really, what could I expect?
Him to just give up his path and fall into my arms confessing undying love? He's not gay, he's doesn't like me, and he will never change his path. I know that but still...I just couldn't stop hoping. That kiss...I know he felt the connection, too. I just expected too much back in return and have no right to be so hurt. But I am.
I turn back over and remove the blanket from my face to see Yoongi's back facing me, sitting on the edge of his bed, shoulders slumped.
     I open my mouth to apologize but nothing comes out. I can't make myself say sorry. I'm still too mad and upset myself. You were too cruel...
     "I asked father Kim to arrange a change of roommates for us but he wouldn't do it. I'm sorry but...I guess you're stuck with me until the end of camp." He sighs quietly.
     My chest tightens at the thought of him going to his mentor and begging him to move me away from him. Am I that bad?
     "Whatever." I grunt. I make to get up an stomp out but reluctantly remember my bold show of nudity. I'm still naked and my clothes are still thrown around the room thanks to my overzealous boyfriend.
      I glance over to see Yoongi still facing away and cautiously reach out for my underwear and shorts. Unfortunately for me, right before I grab them, my body decides to flip off the bed and I scream out in surprise as I'm slammed onto the floor, the blanket no longer covering me as I lay humiliated and cold on the hard ground.
     "Jimin!" Yoongi jumps up and immediately runs to my side. "Are you okay?" He grabs my arm and lifts me up into his arms. I yelp in shock and attempt to cover myself as he carries me into his arms to the bathroom.
     "Put me down! I'm fine! Yoongi, stop!" I whine loudly, limps flailing as he sets me on the sink. Butt naked. My blush covers my entire body as my hands move to cover my privates and thighs.
    Yoongi's eyes roam over me thoroughly to check for any injuries before grabbing a random shirt and slipping it over my head. From the smell, I realize it's one of his. Taking a deep breath, I savor his scent as he pulls out a small first aide kit and kneels down, grabbing my thigh.
     "What are you doing?" I panic, my cock twitching from his proximity. His warm breath puffs over my inner knee as he eyes the small cut that I've apparently acquired.
     I watch silently as he cleans the small amount of blood then bandages it up like it was a life or death situation. Crossing my arms, I glare as he stands and smiles at me. "All better."
     "I'm not a baby! I could do it myself." I find myself more pouting than angry.
     He caresses my cheek before backing away. "Never said you couldn't, Jimin. I just...don't like to see you hurt." He admits, looking embarrassed.
     Chewing on my bottom lip, I glance away. "Sorry you had to, uh, see me like that earlier." I am but not really.
      "Well...I've seen it before so." He shrugs but I can see it really bothered him.
      "Yeah...but I wasn't naked before." Why the hell did I bring that back up?!
      "It's fine. It's nothing all boys don't have." He shrugs again. Much too calm and unfazed for my liking. Does he think I'm ugly?
     "Oh."
     "Let me help you back to bed."
     I grasp onto his neck as he carries me back to my bed and sets me down gently. "T-thanks." I watch as he picks up my discarded clothes and places them in the dirty hamper before cleaning up the room some more then getting into his own bed.
     "I'm very sorry for the way I treated you earlier. I shouldn't have overreacted so much. Can you ever forgive me?" He sounds stiff as he stares up at the ceiling, refusing to meet my gaze.
    I sit cross legged, picking at my blanket and staring at him, my longing for him coming back full force. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." I mumble.
     He frowns but doesn't move his head an inch. "For what?"
     "I don't know...kissing you...touching you, you walking in on me and your brother...a lot of things, I guess."
     "I told you, I overreacted earlier and...about the other...it's your love life. Not my business."
     "Y-yeah, But isn't it against the rules." I frown in realization. "Why haven't you threatened to report us...or punished us? Me?"
      A bitter smile appears on his face in a flash then disappears just as quickly. "I don't think I'm in any position to punish another. I should have never touched you to begin with. It's not my place."
     A sick feeling forms in the pit of my stomach. "Don't say that. I don't hate you for what happened. It is your place. You are my mentor after all." I sigh.
     Shaking his head, he finally turns to look at me. "Don't idolize me, Jimin. You're better off just ignoring me. You deserve a much better mentor. I'm really not in the position to counsel anyone else on their problems." He murmurs.
     Done with his self hatred and pity party, I shoot up out of bed and push him over, scooting onto his own. His eyes widen in surprise and confusion as I wrap my arms and legs around him, squeezing him hard. "Stop it! I'm tired of you always putting yourself down! Everyone has struggles and aren't perfect! It's okay to not be perfect." I take his face in my hands and force him to look at me, really look at me. "It's okay not to be perfect, Yoongi-ah." I whisper, my lips an inch from his.
     Swallowing hard, I watch his eyes drop down to my lips before slowly moving over every inch of my face back to my eyes. Tears fill his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this." He sounds so anguished it breaks my heart.
      "Do what?"
      "This. Life. I don't think I can do it."
      "You can." I sniffle, resting my forehead against his.
      "How do you know?" He asks brokenly.
      "Because you have me. Right here, beside you. To help you along the way." I vow and know as soon as I say it that they're true. I will do anything to make him smile again. To raise him up out of this hell he places himself in.
      I promise.