Sinner

Epilogue: Hoseok

6 months later...

I stare out towards the ocean and watch as Jimin kicks at the sand and brush, lost in thought. A single pair of Yoongi's sneakers clutched in his hands.

My brother's death devastated me but not nearly as much as Jimin. It destroyed him. He refused to step foot in his and Yoongi's apartment after...
Jin helped me go in and empty it out, Jimin moving in with us. I kept a few things from my hyung but Jimin wanted us to toss the rest, he just couldn't stand to look at it.
The only thing he refused to part with is those sneakers. Yoongi's favorite pair. Jimin bought them for him when they first started dating.
Today's the first day Jimin has been able to leave the house. Today's a special day, though. Yoongi's birthday. This was also his favorite place. He liked the quiet. Said it helped him think and escape from his demons.
I play with my hands as Jimin plops down on the sand beside me. "Do you think he's waiting for me?" He asks quietly. The first time he's spoken all day.
I swallow hard. "Maybe."
He wipes his eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Staring at those white shoes. "I t-think I'll leave these here. For him. D-do you think he'd want them back?" He stutters, choking out.
I wrap my arm around his shoulder. "Yeah, Jiminie. I think he'd love to have them back. After all, they came from you."
He drops his head on my shoulder, hugging them to his chest. "I j-just wanted to help him. Wanted to make it better but in the end..." he struggles to speak.
"You did, Jimin. I think we both know if it weren't for you and your love he never would have made it so long in this world. He struggled so much, Jimin. More than any of us really ever knew. This isn't your fault."
He sobs. "He did it for me."
"What?" I can barely hear him.
"He said...he did it for me. All his suffering...he was always doing it for me. I never helped him. Never."
"That's a lie and you know it." I sigh. "You were the best thing in his life. You did all you could. You aren't God. You just can't do everything. Some things are out of our control." I explain.
"You sound like Jin." He scoffs tearfully.
I crack a small smile. "I guess his positivity rubs off on me." I shrug.
He shudders in a breath. "I wish I could find something positive in life. It just seems so meaningless without him here."
I squeeze him. "You can't think like that. He wanted you to be happy. To move on."
He shakes his head. "He told me to wait. He told me to wait for him no matter what, Hoseok. I promised I'd wait forever. How do I do that, though? Do you think he's waiting for me out there?" He stares ahead at the ocean.
I kiss his hair. "Don't go there, Jimin. I think he will wait until you're ready. Don't do this. I want you to move on and embrace life like he always wanted you to then when it's time...you'll be together again."
He looks at me wide eyed. "How do you know?"
I smile. "He's my hyung. I just know."
Nodding, he closes his eyes, eventually falling asleep in my lap holding those shoes for dear life. I simply stare out into the ocean...lost. I've had to be so strong for Jimin but...I'm just as broken. I want my hyung back. Something I know will never happen.

As the sun begins to set, I grasp Jimin's hand and walk to the edge of the water with him. He hesitantly stops at the nearest tree and tosses the beloved shoes up on a high branch.
"Please wait for me..." He whispers, dropping his head.
Choking back my own tears. I lace our fingers and together we begin to walk away, leaving the last of Yoongi's belongings there but not his memory.
He will live on in us forever.
And there, on that other side of that distant sea...he'll wait for us. After all, we're all sinners in our own right and where he goes we'll eventually follow. And I'm okay with that.
Wait for me, hyung....

The end