Sinner

Yoongi

      "I'm very disappointed in you, Yoongi. I expected you to have reformed yourself much more after attending training with Father Kim but you haven't changed at all."
      I keep my head lowered as my father continues to rant about how much of a waste of space I am. Not really. He doesn't say it but I can still hear the words unspoken. Im certainly sure he hates me. I'll just never be good enough.
      Camp ended a month ago and despite our growing friendship, Jimin and I hav hardly spoken since camp. He's still dating my little brother but isn't allowed over, of course. Father would never allow such a disgrace in his house.
     He has given up on reforming Hoseok, though, and just continues to use me to work out his frustrations. I wish Jimin were here to talk to. It's a struggle everyday. Father Kim can feel it in me during our continued training sessions. I know he's worried about me but I can't even reassure him.
     Deep down...I'm worried about myself also. I'm just too weak. If I could only let myself go numb every day then everything would be fine but I just can't seem to shut it off.
     "I apologize father. I will work harder and do as you wish." I mumble out, my back tired from bowing so much.
      He scoffs and allows me to straighten up. "See that you do. I'm seriously considering sending you overseas to join a convent. You need more discipline, I think." He shakes his head before stalking off back downstairs.
     Sighing, I plop down on my bed and stare out the window. I frown when I see Hoseok climb out of his window and run down the street. Meeting Jimin, for sure.
     That weird uncomfortable twinge happens inside my chest again and I rub my eyes, irritated at myself. I should just let him go. He honestly hasn't reached out to me so that should tell me that he's actually not interested in perusing this friendship. He had Hoseok, after all. He doesn't need me.
Groaning, hating myself, I change into some ripped jeans I swiped from Hoseok and a black hoodie before climbing out my own window, escaping the pressure for just a little while.
I've never got to live as a normal teenage guy. The pressure to be perfect has always been there. I need to drop the act for just a little while. Just a little while.

I find myself wandering down the dark streets with my hands in my pockets when I come upon a large house full of teens and loud music. A party. I've never been to one before. Ducking my head a little, I walk inside and see a flash of Hoseok as he leads Jimin up the stairs.
My chest pounds as he playfully pushes him into a room and slams the door closed. My imagination gives me way too much to think about as I continue walking through the house. A drunk guy hands me a drink and I hesitantly take it.
The guy is cute and around my age. He smirks at me with a wink. "Hi, beautiful. What's your name?" He slurs.
Swallowing hard, I suck in a deep breath. I can't tell him my real name. Everyone knows me. Or, well, knows of me. Min Yoongi the fucking saint.
I spot a jar of sugar on the counter and my mouth immediately blurts out the first thought. "Suga. Min Suga." My face heats up and I'm glad the hoodie covers most of it.
He chuckles and throws an arm around me. "Sexy. You can be my Suga." He leans in close to me, his breath brushing my ear. "I'm Kim Namjoon. Are you enjoying my party?" He whispers sensuously.
I step back and clear my throat. "Are you related to Kim Seokjin?" I ask cautiously.
He laughs loudly. "Hell no! That guys fucking gorgeous so thank fuck we aren't related. Just a coincidence." He winks.
Nodding, sip my drink only to freeze and start choking immediately. Did he give me straight rubbing alcohol?!
"Strong, right? The best..." He sighs happily and chugs down his own drink. "Never seen you at one of my parties before. Let me give you the grand tour!" He claps, smiling brightly, before grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs.
The sound of moaning in the first room makes me wince as I think about who's in there. I'm pulled right passed, though, to a door at the end of the hall. He closes the door firmly behind us and locks it.
I fidget nervously as he mutters to himself and begins searching the room. "I know I left it somewhere!" He grunts and rummages under the bed to what I'm guessing is his room. It's huge.
He jumps up triumphantly, revealing the small package of white powder and immediately I'm alert and alarmed. Drugs. He's got drugs.
"Um...I should really be going..." I start to turn but he grabs my shoulder and pulls me back, plopping me on the bed.

"Hell now! Not until you try some of this shit. It's the best ever." His hazy eyes roam lazily over me before he climbs onto my lap and abruptly jerks my hoodie off. I gasp in surprise as his fingers run over my bare skin. My stomach muscles quiver as his fingertips skim over my waistband.
He pushes me back on the bed as the panic begins to wash over me. What the hell was I thinking? Coming out here! This was so stupid! I'm not like all these kids here. Can't be like them. Can't compromise myself like this.
I push at his chest as he straddles my hips and dips a finger into the baggy. He presses it to his tongue, moaning, before leaning down and shocking me by grabbing my hair and forcing me into a hard deep kiss.
I can taste the drug on my own tongue as he tangles his with mine. I gasp and struggle as my head begins to swim. He sits back up, licking his bottom lip and smiling down at me. "Enjoy this baby. I promise you, this will be a night you'll never fucking forget, my Suga." He laughs.
My limbs hang limply at my sides as he touches me in places never touched before and kisses my face and lips and neck. Everything spins around me and all the tension eases out of me and for once...for once I have no stress. No worries. No...pressure. The effect is...truly amazing.
I close my eyes as his finger slips back into my mouth and I taste just a little more of that exquisite powder on my tongue.
Why have I always fought against this? I need this. For once in my stupid life...I feel...
Free.
I feel Namjoon's lips on my cheek before his body is off me. I'm weightless and feeling nothing but air as his chuckle falls around me. "That's right, baby. Feel it. Let it take you away."
The last thing I feel is his hands grazing my crotch before blackness engulfs me.

This story has taken a turn...unexpected but honestly...I'm not disappointed haha. ❤️

P.s I finally redid my hair!!!!

Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️☺️☺️