Sinner

Jimin

      "Yoongi-ah! Why aren't you listening to me?!" I whine, noticing not for the first time he's zoned out. Again. Ignoring me. Groaning, I fall back into his lap and look up at his blank expression.
      Since that night he finally gave in and we had the best sex of my fucking life, he's changed. It wasn't obvious at first. It was subtle things. First he wouldn't look at me as much. He let me touch him and he definitely touched me but...it was like his heart wasn't in it.
     Then randomly he'd get really passionate on me and fuck me raw for hours-like OMG!-then would leave me alone, disappearing for almost hours at a time. I feel guilty, I do. I know I pushed him to this but I've wanted it so bad for so long that I couldn't resist when he finally broke that wall down.
      Although, our sexually relationship has seemed to change for better...everything else? He's more distant now and always seems to be overthinking. He won't talk to me about it, either. Simply states that it's not my problem and not to worry about it.
      After my hundredth time of begging him for answers, he calmly asked me to leave it alone. I just decided to respect his privacy and leave him be. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it, though.
      "What?" He asks, glancing down at me like he just now realized I'm here. I huff and smack his arm, more than a little hurt.
      "I've been talking to you for like an hour now! Have you really not heard a damn word I've said?!" I ask, disbelief in my voice.
      He forces a smile and gently pushes me off his lap, standing and stretching. "I've been thinking..." He sighs.
       I perk up. Is he finally going to talk to me? "Yeah?"
       "I think I want to go back to Korea. What do you think?" He asks, his eyes more alive than usual.
      I frown. "Yoongi, you know I can't just pack up out of the blue and leave. I'm almost finished with school but if I leave now I'll lose all my credits."
       He nods slowly. "Sorry. I forgot. It was a stupid suggestion anyway."
       I rest my hand on his shoulder. "I want to go home, too, but I have to finish. I've done well here-and what about it your youth project? You cant just abandon it!"
      His lips twist and he glances away. "They won't miss me. I haven't been there in like a week anyway." He shrugs nonchalantly.
      I stare at him in blank shock. What? That project is everything to him. The whole reason we even came here in the first place and he's just going to easily quit and walk away?
      "I d-don't understand. What do you mean you haven went in a week?! Where have you been then?" He's left his normal time everyday this week.
      He shrugs again. "Not important. I'm just not into it anymore, okay? Can you stop fucking judging me and let me be?" He huffs as walks away.
      I stare after him hurt and dumbfounded. What the actual fuck?! This isn't Yoongi. He doesn't curse, he doesn't give up on something important to him, he doesn't just give up on everything...what is going on?
      Hesitantly, I get up and follow after him to the bedroom. He's got his back to me as he strips off his shirt and I take in those so familiar scars that are a part of him. I take a deep breath, trying to think of what to say.
       "I would never judge you, Yoongi. You know that. I'm worried about you. I love you so much. You've changed and I don't understand why. Is it me? Have I done something?" I bite my lip and wait.
       He sighs in irritation and turns to face me. My eyes widen at his body. Admitfully, even with all the sex we've been having, it's always been in the dark and he hasn't really let me touch him for some reason. Now I know.
      His chest is covered in tattoos. From chest to lower abdomen as well as both nipples pierced. I stumble back in shock while he just stares at me, bored.
      "W-what the fuck!" I cry.
      He rolls his eyes. "Never seen ink before, Jiminie? You have piercings." He reminds me.
      I scoff. "Not like that! Why didn't you tell me? Why are you hiding things from me? I t-thought...I thought we were past that?" My voice breaks.
      He glares at the floor and tosses his shirt in the dirty hamper. "You know I'm all kinds of fucked up, Jimin. You're free to go-or stay-whatever you want."
      I scowl at his chest, afraid to meet his cold eyes. "Why are you doing this? I thought everything was fine with us? I thought we were finally officially together? Do I mean nothing to you? I thought you said you loved me, you said you needed me! You don't fucking act like it!" I lose my temper and yell.
      I sucks in a sharp breath. "I did...I do. I do...love you, okay? I'm sorry I'm being weird. Just give me time, okay? Let me just be me for now. If and when I'm ready I'll talk." He compromises.
       His words don't reassure me. All I heard was his hesitation in saying he loved me. Doesn't that just say everything? Its like now that he's fucked me, he's sick of me around which makes no fucking sense! Yoongi isn't like that. What happened to the man I fell in love with and dedicated years of my life to him? Who is this cold asshole in front of me? His personality has changed as much as his appearance. And it scares me.

I'm really sorry guys 🙏😫 I'm doing like a million things while still trying to update for you all because I haven't updated in a minute. I'll try to pay more attention 😭😂😂💜💜💜💜 and I will update omega lottery today too! Love you guys so much! Ignore my dumb moment haha